Robin - While Mom's down there this weekend, see if you can get the name of her family dr. and I'll make her an appt. for the week of Thanksgiving. Y'all have fun! I bet Dylan is excited that Max is coming. Those 2 are a hoot together!
Fran - How did it go last night?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Mom and this weekend
Hi everyone,
I just got an email from Abbe and Max. We've been trying to find a weekend when they and Mom could come for a visit. Abbe just wrote and said, "How about this Saturday - just for the day?" I was hoping they (and Mom) would spend the night because I think it does Mom good to get away, but Abbe needs to get back so it will be a day trip. I told her that sounded wonderful...Lauren, plan to come over and eat if y'all can on Saturday - probably a late lunch or early dinner is what I'm thinking.
I told Mom to talk to her doctor when she went to get the flu shot. I don't think that's gonna happen unless one of us accompanies her. I will be up the week of T'giving for Dylan to see Angela Cotton. I'll see about getting her an appt. then. I wish she could see my family doctor here - he is great, aggressive, and checks out every avenue...very thorough....I know it's not practical since the doc is here but I was at least hoping to get her on memory meds...
We just went through SACS accreditation today (Southern Accred. of Colleges/Schools) so I am whipped...I was one of 5 teachers interviewed for almost an hour about our school and school system....of course we were coached - don't dare say anything negative....I'm glad it's over!
Love to all,
Robin
I just got an email from Abbe and Max. We've been trying to find a weekend when they and Mom could come for a visit. Abbe just wrote and said, "How about this Saturday - just for the day?" I was hoping they (and Mom) would spend the night because I think it does Mom good to get away, but Abbe needs to get back so it will be a day trip. I told her that sounded wonderful...Lauren, plan to come over and eat if y'all can on Saturday - probably a late lunch or early dinner is what I'm thinking.
I told Mom to talk to her doctor when she went to get the flu shot. I don't think that's gonna happen unless one of us accompanies her. I will be up the week of T'giving for Dylan to see Angela Cotton. I'll see about getting her an appt. then. I wish she could see my family doctor here - he is great, aggressive, and checks out every avenue...very thorough....I know it's not practical since the doc is here but I was at least hoping to get her on memory meds...
We just went through SACS accreditation today (Southern Accred. of Colleges/Schools) so I am whipped...I was one of 5 teachers interviewed for almost an hour about our school and school system....of course we were coached - don't dare say anything negative....I'm glad it's over!
Love to all,
Robin
Tues. Oct 28
Just in case anyone is trying to reach mom tonight, she is spending the night at our house. I have to be at work early in the morning, but Robert said he will "hang out" w/ her in the morning until she is ready to head back home. Wish us luck! :-)
Mom for now
I was talking to Mom yesterday and she told me she thought about getting a cat. I said, "You don't need a cat. You would forget to change the litter box." She denied that. I said, "Jake is housetrained. But when you kept him, he kept pooping inside because you forgot to let him out." She mentioned that Robin said she needs Aricept. I said, "You do." She asked if that was for Alzheimer's. I said, "You need some memory pills. You need to go see your dr. to get them." So then she got side tracked on how she got her flu shot yesterday at the dr's office but didn't see the dr.
I only have one vacation day left the rest of this year, which I'm going to use on Christmas Eve. So I have no time left to do anything for Mom till next year. But for right now, I think this needs to be done:
1. Someone needs to get their name on Mom's accounts along with hers; someone local. Right now Reynolds and Fran have power of attorney
2. Mom needs to go see her dr., with one of us along to listen, and be evaluated for dementia.
I need to read Mom's long term care policy thoroughly. I keep saying I'll do that.
Mom doesn't leave the house much anymore, so I think right now she's harmless to herself and others. But I do think that eventually there will be an incident that forces us to take action.
I don't think we should do anything more at this very moment. Many of my friends have reminded me that she just lost her partner of 55 years and should be given time to grieve. I don't know if grieving is the correct term for her right now, but they are all suggesting we "lay off" for a respectable amount of time. I think it always helps to get someone's opinion who is outside the fish bowl.
Last but not least, I still have Anna's 3 books on caregiving. If anyone wants to read them, just let me know.
I only have one vacation day left the rest of this year, which I'm going to use on Christmas Eve. So I have no time left to do anything for Mom till next year. But for right now, I think this needs to be done:
1. Someone needs to get their name on Mom's accounts along with hers; someone local. Right now Reynolds and Fran have power of attorney
2. Mom needs to go see her dr., with one of us along to listen, and be evaluated for dementia.
I need to read Mom's long term care policy thoroughly. I keep saying I'll do that.
Mom doesn't leave the house much anymore, so I think right now she's harmless to herself and others. But I do think that eventually there will be an incident that forces us to take action.
I don't think we should do anything more at this very moment. Many of my friends have reminded me that she just lost her partner of 55 years and should be given time to grieve. I don't know if grieving is the correct term for her right now, but they are all suggesting we "lay off" for a respectable amount of time. I think it always helps to get someone's opinion who is outside the fish bowl.
Last but not least, I still have Anna's 3 books on caregiving. If anyone wants to read them, just let me know.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
and so it begins...again
Conversations about what to do with our family members are becoming waaayyyyyy too frequent. I talked to Fran one day last week and we discussed some of the same stuff y'all have been talking about on here... Sorry I haven't contributed, but for the longest time this crazy thing wouldn't let me on, then I was in the middle of a job change...you know how it goes.
I definately think Gama is going down-hill. I knew something was going on when she totted her purse down the aisle at my wedding and then wouldn't put it down when she came to see danny and my first house. It has gotten progressively worse since Feb though, no doubt. Or at least that was the first opportunity I had to really see it up close since that's when I started seeing her more. Unfortunately, things aren't going to get better-they'll get worse. I think that now is the time for us-someone, anyone-to take over her finances, get her moved out of the house and into somewhere she'll be comfortable. If she won't give it up, we can have her declared incompetent. I'd really hate to do that though because I wouldn't want her to resent us. That's the kind of thing she WOULD remember. I think she and her children need to have a little meeting. An "intervention" was mentioned earlier. I'll be glad to go since I am fairly familiar with the kind of setting she would need to be in. I think that MVT is not going to provide her with the kind of supervision that she needs. And she does need supervision. I think that we need to find an assisted living facility that also has a skilled nursing facility that offers an alzheimers unit. I know that those are all ugly words, but plan for the worst and hope for the best. We know these facilities are out there because we came across them when we were looking for a place for Papa. An assisted living facility (ALF) would allow her a little apartment with a kitchenette and 1-2 bedrooms. They have a dining room so that people are eating something other than Oreos. Once things got bad, it would be an easier transition to the skilled nursing facility (SNF). I'd hate to move her to MVT and then just a few years later move her to a SNF. Just some things to think about. She doesn't really acknowledge that she has a problem. She says things like, "I'm losing my mind," or "I can't remember anything." But heck, so do I and I don't have dementia. I think now is the time to have the "talk" and let her know that we've all noticed that something is not quite right. The trick will be to do it in a non-threatening, we're-trying-to-take-your-money,-home,-and (lord-forbid) your-purse way. I'm sure everyone has thoughts...but we can't just think about it. We have to do something about it. I will be out of town this weekend, but am tentatively planning on going up the following weekend. That's the weekend of Nov. 1. Lemme know if that works for y'all as far as having the big talk. Do you think we can get organized and get some solutions for these problems together by then? I think it might comfort her to know that we've thought about some alternatives to her current situation when we approach her. That we're not just trying to throw her out on the street. It's also important to let her know that we all want the very best and safest things for her, you know, that we're not trying to take advantage of her. I know it's a lot to think about, but we've been through some tough things as a family this year. I think we can make it through this too.
Lemme know what you think.
-lauren
I definately think Gama is going down-hill. I knew something was going on when she totted her purse down the aisle at my wedding and then wouldn't put it down when she came to see danny and my first house. It has gotten progressively worse since Feb though, no doubt. Or at least that was the first opportunity I had to really see it up close since that's when I started seeing her more. Unfortunately, things aren't going to get better-they'll get worse. I think that now is the time for us-someone, anyone-to take over her finances, get her moved out of the house and into somewhere she'll be comfortable. If she won't give it up, we can have her declared incompetent. I'd really hate to do that though because I wouldn't want her to resent us. That's the kind of thing she WOULD remember. I think she and her children need to have a little meeting. An "intervention" was mentioned earlier. I'll be glad to go since I am fairly familiar with the kind of setting she would need to be in. I think that MVT is not going to provide her with the kind of supervision that she needs. And she does need supervision. I think that we need to find an assisted living facility that also has a skilled nursing facility that offers an alzheimers unit. I know that those are all ugly words, but plan for the worst and hope for the best. We know these facilities are out there because we came across them when we were looking for a place for Papa. An assisted living facility (ALF) would allow her a little apartment with a kitchenette and 1-2 bedrooms. They have a dining room so that people are eating something other than Oreos. Once things got bad, it would be an easier transition to the skilled nursing facility (SNF). I'd hate to move her to MVT and then just a few years later move her to a SNF. Just some things to think about. She doesn't really acknowledge that she has a problem. She says things like, "I'm losing my mind," or "I can't remember anything." But heck, so do I and I don't have dementia. I think now is the time to have the "talk" and let her know that we've all noticed that something is not quite right. The trick will be to do it in a non-threatening, we're-trying-to-take-your-money,-home,-and (lord-forbid) your-purse way. I'm sure everyone has thoughts...but we can't just think about it. We have to do something about it. I will be out of town this weekend, but am tentatively planning on going up the following weekend. That's the weekend of Nov. 1. Lemme know if that works for y'all as far as having the big talk. Do you think we can get organized and get some solutions for these problems together by then? I think it might comfort her to know that we've thought about some alternatives to her current situation when we approach her. That we're not just trying to throw her out on the street. It's also important to let her know that we all want the very best and safest things for her, you know, that we're not trying to take advantage of her. I know it's a lot to think about, but we've been through some tough things as a family this year. I think we can make it through this too.
Lemme know what you think.
-lauren
Friday, October 17, 2008
No Dog for Mom
When Mom had Jake, he kept pooping in the house because she didn't take him out. When Brad Culp from Griswold's came to Dad's room at Hospice Atlanta to meet me about a caregiver for Dad at home, in walked Mom and Jake. They had only been there for a minute when Jake did 2 big poops in the room. Mom was oblivious. I stopped talking to Brad and asked Mom, "When was the last time he was taken outside?" She said, "I don't know."
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Mom
I definitely see Mom doing some of the same things that Grandmother did....the pacing, not eating or eating the same thing over and over again....I thought the dog idea was great when Lauren let Jake stay with Mom for a few days...the problem was that Mom forgot to even let Jake outside to go to the bathroom. She would spend her days cleaning up after a dog (or maybe not even cleaning up after a dog).
One of my coworkers is going through something similar with her Mom; she sent out a mass email asking if anyone had gone through it with their parent/s and I suggested a few organizations to contact that I knew about because of respite care for children w/disabilities. She contacted the Senior Citizens program here and they actually now pick her mother up 3 days a week (around 8 a.m.), feed her breakfast and lunch, provide activities for her and then transport her home. I am sure there is something similar in Atlanta and will be glad to make a few calls if y'all want me to. The cost is minimal too - something like $7 a day....I couldn't believe it!
I know that stress definitely affects the memory and the more Mom stays to herself and inside/home alone, the worse it will get. Being with people, socializing, and interacting (even exercising again like they used to do) with others will stimulate Mom's brain and help.
One of my coworkers is going through something similar with her Mom; she sent out a mass email asking if anyone had gone through it with their parent/s and I suggested a few organizations to contact that I knew about because of respite care for children w/disabilities. She contacted the Senior Citizens program here and they actually now pick her mother up 3 days a week (around 8 a.m.), feed her breakfast and lunch, provide activities for her and then transport her home. I am sure there is something similar in Atlanta and will be glad to make a few calls if y'all want me to. The cost is minimal too - something like $7 a day....I couldn't believe it!
I know that stress definitely affects the memory and the more Mom stays to herself and inside/home alone, the worse it will get. Being with people, socializing, and interacting (even exercising again like they used to do) with others will stimulate Mom's brain and help.
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