and so it begins...again

Conversations about what to do with our family members are becoming waaayyyyyy too frequent. I talked to Fran one day last week and we discussed some of the same stuff y'all have been talking about on here... Sorry I haven't contributed, but for the longest time this crazy thing wouldn't let me on, then I was in the middle of a job change...you know how it goes.

I definately think Gama is going down-hill. I knew something was going on when she totted her purse down the aisle at my wedding and then wouldn't put it down when she came to see danny and my first house. It has gotten progressively worse since Feb though, no doubt. Or at least that was the first opportunity I had to really see it up close since that's when I started seeing her more. Unfortunately, things aren't going to get better-they'll get worse. I think that now is the time for us-someone, anyone-to take over her finances, get her moved out of the house and into somewhere she'll be comfortable. If she won't give it up, we can have her declared incompetent. I'd really hate to do that though because I wouldn't want her to resent us. That's the kind of thing she WOULD remember. I think she and her children need to have a little meeting. An "intervention" was mentioned earlier. I'll be glad to go since I am fairly familiar with the kind of setting she would need to be in. I think that MVT is not going to provide her with the kind of supervision that she needs. And she does need supervision. I think that we need to find an assisted living facility that also has a skilled nursing facility that offers an alzheimers unit. I know that those are all ugly words, but plan for the worst and hope for the best. We know these facilities are out there because we came across them when we were looking for a place for Papa. An assisted living facility (ALF) would allow her a little apartment with a kitchenette and 1-2 bedrooms. They have a dining room so that people are eating something other than Oreos. Once things got bad, it would be an easier transition to the skilled nursing facility (SNF). I'd hate to move her to MVT and then just a few years later move her to a SNF. Just some things to think about. She doesn't really acknowledge that she has a problem. She says things like, "I'm losing my mind," or "I can't remember anything." But heck, so do I and I don't have dementia. I think now is the time to have the "talk" and let her know that we've all noticed that something is not quite right. The trick will be to do it in a non-threatening, we're-trying-to-take-your-money,-home,-and (lord-forbid) your-purse way. I'm sure everyone has thoughts...but we can't just think about it. We have to do something about it. I will be out of town this weekend, but am tentatively planning on going up the following weekend. That's the weekend of Nov. 1. Lemme know if that works for y'all as far as having the big talk. Do you think we can get organized and get some solutions for these problems together by then? I think it might comfort her to know that we've thought about some alternatives to her current situation when we approach her. That we're not just trying to throw her out on the street. It's also important to let her know that we all want the very best and safest things for her, you know, that we're not trying to take advantage of her. I know it's a lot to think about, but we've been through some tough things as a family this year. I think we can make it through this too.

Lemme know what you think.
-lauren