Mom and Dad

It's not Dad that's driving me crazy, it's Mom. Can we put her in a nursing home, too? I never get to talk to Dad on the phone. I ask Mom how he's doing, and she says "the same". Today she didn't sound so depressed because Reynolds came for dinner last night.

Eldercare is sending someone to interview them tomorrow, and she told me she feels sure they will take them. Well, of course they will. The purpose of the interview is not to decide whether or not they will take them or not, but to assess their needs so they can match the right caregiver with the person. She was going to call Choice today and fire them. I said, "OK, you do whatever you want. But Robin did not tell you she and Lauren will be up this weekend. Robin said she would talk to Lauren about coming up. And Robin, as of last night, had not talked to Lauren." Mom said, "Well, Lauren said she was coming up before Robin even stuck her nose into this mess." I said, "OK Mom, you do whatever you want, I'm going to the lake tomorrow." She told me to have fun and be careful. So if they have no caregiver this weekend, there's not a damn thing I can do about it. If I was Dad, I'd probably want to take a swing at her, too. After talking to her this week, I want to take a swing at her.

There is not a waiting list for the good nursing homes. You literally have to call them every single day. But once we get Dad into one, what are we going to do with Mom? Right now, I would love to look her in the face and say, "I don't know how much longer I can take this." O.K., she's pushed my buttons 3 days in a row this week and I need to calm down.

Someone please talk to Chantal if you can. See what she thinks. If she thinks the nursing home, then o.k. Someone needs to call the good homes every day. And Mom will have to agree to it. On their health power of attorney, Mom is first in line to make a decision. So I would love to know what Chantal's thoughts are about Dad but also about Mom. She's there with them every day so she knows what's going on. And Reynolds said Chantal doesn't talk much to Mom anymore; that makes me wonder why? If any of us are there when we can talk to Chantal privately for a minute, I would love to know what's really going on.

And I always wonder, what will happen to Mom? This string of thoughts runs through my mind like the weekend Caitlin was there and said all there was to eat was cheese, Jeremy asking Mom at 2:30 in the afternoon if they were going to eat lunch, yesterday Mom needed to run to Costco because Chantal had made a long list of stuff for her to get. (Chantal made the list, not Mom.)

And as for the invoice from Choice, I had Deborah fax me a copy. It was mailed to Mom on July 11th and was due on the 23rd. I find it interesting that Mom was searching for it, since she always swears up and down to me that she never got one.

How did I begin this blog? Oh yeah, it's not Dad that's driving me crazy, it's Mom!