IHOP

Just s/w Mimi, she said she and Martha ended up going to IHOP yesterday and had a nice time. She said they were talking about another newly widowed friend that they want to get out of the house, so they are going to talk to her and try to all meet once a week for breakfast/brunch. I told her I thought that was a fantastic idea. When I called, she was trying on clothes to see what fit and what she could get rid of. I asked if she was all set to go to WR tomorrow and she said yes, so I don't think she is trying to get out of going now.

Waffle House

I had my Northside Hospital physical today and HR meeting to fill out paperwork where they took my picture for a badge, etc. which took several hours. Anyway, while I was there, Mimi left me a message and said Martha Coleman from church, who is also newly widowed, called her to go out and eat. She said she just wanted us to know where she was and that she thought they were going to Waffle House b/c neither of them were dressed up. I was glad to hear she was going. I'll try to call her back in a little bit.
Again, I am glad she is getting out of the house and I agree, MAKE her go to WR. I am hoping she will also start back to church the following weekend. Otherwise, I think she will spend her days on the sofa and shuttling bills from one room to the next.

Deja Vu

I've been at a Finance/Budget Planning conference all week and was finally able to read the blog. Yes, April 17th was when the Hospice doctor sent Dad to the emergency room because of his oxygen count. Medicare should pay for the ambulance service to the hospital, but Mom needs to pay the for the return trip back home. That was the night that Dad wanted us to go flag down an ambulance to take him back to the house. :)
Agree, a two day trip for mom to visit Warner Robins would do her good.

Deja Vu

I remember when Grandmother didn't want to leave her house and it got harder and harder for Mom to get her to. In fact, one Christmas she didn't even come over. Mom's going to Warner Robins. I'm not going to let her tell us otherwise!
Now I remember why she called me last night. She was questioning a bill she got from some medical service for April 17th. Reynolds - wasn't it the night before her birthday that Dad was taken to the hospital? I told her I thought that bill was for the ambulance service.

Fri Aug 29

I s/w Mimi last night around 5:30 - she said she was laying on the sofa and almost didn't hear the phone. She told me (again) that she had gone to the church to pay the soloist, etc and had driven out to the caterers to pay them. I wanted to ask her why she didn't just mail it but I just let it go. She told me Kathy and Fred were getting her Sunday to go to WR (I had told her that earlier in the week) and she didn't think she was going to go b/c she has too much to do. I told her you NEED to go b/c it would do her some good to get out of that house at least for one night.

Big Lots???

Mom called me last night around 7. Honestly don't remember why. But she was so excited because she went to Big Lots yesterday afternoon. Big Lots? I said I don't go there because I don't need anything else in my house. She said she got cookies and tissues and stuff like that. I said, "Well o.k., as long as you can eat it, blow on it, or dispose of it." I was hoping to go down there with big garbage bags and load them up with clothes for Must Ministries. I must be fooling myself!

Better - Finally!

I had a migraine last Friday, Sat., & Sun. Worked Monday. Got a stomach virus Monday night which I kept until this morning. It feels so good not to be sick!
We have to go to a wedding Sat. night, so we will pick Mom up Sunday morning and go to Robin's and come home on Monday. Then I told Mom I want her back in church the following Sunday. She agreed and said she intends to go back, that she's not going to be like Martha Coleman who quit going after Bob died because she doesn't like to go places they've been together. Mom went in the pouring rain to church yesterday to pay the choir people. Dad's plaque still isn't on the columbarium.
When I talked to Mom today she said she found her water bill and it's due 8/30 so she's going to pay it over the phone. She found the envelope to another bill but not the bill itself.
I got the sweetest note from Lauren yesterday. Lauren, you are so thoughtful and I love you!

Wed Aug 27

Just s/w Mimi and she seems to be doing fine. She said her house is a mess b/c (and this is according to her) she finds a bank statement, puts it down, and then looks for a bill, etc. She said she just found her alarm-company bill and was seeing if she had paid it, but had not, and was about to write the check when her friend Harriet from church called her. We called her yesterday to check on her during the tornado warnings and she said everything was fine, just a lot of rain.

blog

Kathy and I just spoke last Friday and said we should continue the blog to help us all keep up w/ Mimi. I am all for it! I have actually gone on about every other day to see if anyone had posted anything. It all hit me hard starting on Friday - I think the past six months was more stressful than I had let myself accept. I think getting back to work will be the best thing for me, personally. Reality has set in...

On another note, I s/w Mimi Saturday afternoon and she was going to get her hair done. She paid Chantal her final check and her last day was Saturday. She also said Aunt Mary wants her to come over to AL for about a week and she says she is going to do that - we'll see.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYN!

Papa

I, too, couldn't bring myself to blog at first. I tried holding it in and ended up with a 3 day migraine starting this past Friday. Don't know if it was the weather front from Hurricane Fay or grief, I'm just glad my head's not hurting today!
Reynolds - thanks for the reminder. I didn't realize this year was Lyn's Big 50! I feel bad we didn't plan a girls' weekend or party or anything. I sent her some flowers to her school and will call her tonight.
Mom calls me twice a day every day. I think she's adjusting to being alone in that house. We had planned on bringing her to Robin's Labor Day weekend. Then Fred just called me and pointed out to me that this weekend is Labor Day weekend. We have to go to a wedding Sat. night! Steve, Jeff & Barb McCall's son, is getting married. But we might go ahead and come down Sun. morning and come back on Monday. We also need to see how Miss Cali is doing. Tomorrow she gets neutered and her front claws removed.
Robin - I heard you cussed out your insurance agent and then cried. I've been staying out of the Kroger parking lot because that's where all my fits of aggression have occured. I still need to write about those in the blog. :)
Mom received 20 copies of Dad's death certificate. Now I can begin sending them where they need to go.

family

I actually went on our site right after Papa passed away but couldn't bring myself to write anything....I thought I was doing so well but seem to have a "come apart" (as I told my principal) just about everyday...at least once. I looked outside the other evening and a gentle rain had begun....the thought, "Papa's tears," came to my mind...don't ask me why as I know he is happy and "whole" (body) in heaven and the Bible says there is no sadness so I know he's not worried about us. I have no doubt we'll be reunited with him one day but somehow I feel like my foundation is gone (in a physical, not spiritual, sense). Dad would have done whatever he could have done to help any of us out....that's what being a father is all about. Kathy, I've thought a lot about your speech at Dad's funeral and you are so right - he was the right combination of tough and marshmallow! :o) I think he was really a softie but we didn't really get to see that side until the last 15 years or so....
I agree with Lauren - we should continue the blog so we can stay abreast of Mom and issues concerning her...I'm hoping Mom, Kathy and Fred will be able to come down next weekend...it'll be nice to have company here! Anyone else is welcome too! Would love to have you all!

Blogging

I also think it's a good idea. We can provide updates on Mom (MaGee) and share stories. Speaking of sharing stories, Lyn and I had dinner with Dave & Barbara Verner and Bill Harkins last night. Everyone is doing well. The Verner's oldest daughter, Kelli, is getting married in two weeks. Kelli is a nurse in Charleston, SC. Their son, Jim, is getting ready to enter the Coast Guard. Dr. Harkins (PhD in Psychology from Vanderbilt) teaches at the Columbia School of Theology and is also an ordained minister. Reminder: Lyn's 50th B'day is on Monday( 25th).

We're still a family.

This is the first time I've checked the blog since Papa passed away. I couldn't help but notice that we all stopped posting once he was gone. Do we just want to pretend that we need to talk about him? Or are we avoiding it because we know there's nothing left to decide about him? I'm not sure why we've all stopped posting, but I wish we would keep going. There's still a lot to talk about and I like that I can take a few short minutes and be on top of what's going on, even if it's late at night.

As everyone knows, we're still a family. We may all be muddling through how best to deal with losing Papa, but we've still got each other. And we still have Gama. And as we also know there's still a lot to be determined as far as she's concerned.

If everyone else wants to quit the blog then I'm on board with that. But I vote that we keep it going. It's still important to communicate whether it be about Gama, a crummy day at work, or a great day spent with family, we still need each other. What are everyone else's thoughts?

Tuesday

Chantal was back yesterday morning. When she said Good Morning Dad gave a little smile. Robin and kids were there yesterday. Caitlin went back to UGA and Robin, Brandon and Dylan came up here last night. Fran went down there yesterday afternoon. Robin and Fran both liked the hospice people. I knew I should have been with Mom when she signed the hospice papers. She's confused about what she signed up for, who are all these people in my house, who is paying for this, etc. Fran tried to straighten it all out yesterday, but it was 5:05.

Memory medicine

Mom definitely needs to be on memory medicine! That's one of the things that's been on my "to do" list for her. She has moments where she doesn't remember she has c.d.'s. She's constantly moving stuff around her house and losing it. She can't ever remember where her checkbook is. Last night when I talked to her she told me another hospice nurse was coming to the house today. This morning when Fran called her to check in, she didn't remember if a nurse was coming or not. I know a lot of it is stress, but still, she needs to be on memory medicine. (Heck, sometimes I need it myself! LOL)

one more thing...sorry! Robin again!

Mom was (as usual) shuffling papers around last night and I asked her what she was looking for...she said, "My American Express card...I put it right there!" (in the crack of the marble table in the living room). She said she needed it to go pay the bill (keep in mind this is around 11:30 p.m.). I said, "Mom...we need to get you on Aricept or something," and she replied, "Isn't that for people with Alzheimer's?" I smiled and told her, "Well...(stall)...it helps with memory." (Maybe I need to be on some myself!)

Monday night - by Robin writing on Kathy's email

After talking with Lauren and Kathy, and later Fran (did not realize Fran had tried to call me on Sunday night...my house has been wild with college kids packing up), I decided to head up to Atlanta. My sweet son said he would go with me and drove for me...you know, I'm the emotional one, and yes, I was emotional. Dylan was going to stay next door with Craig and his crew but stood there watching me pack the car and said, "I want to go hug and kiss Papa," so he came along. Caitlin called as we were loading up the car and I told her to come on Monday since she had spent the day moving into her new apartment in Athens. You know how hardheaded this family is....Caitlin was on the road and went straight to Mimi/Gama and Papa's.
When the boys and I got there, Papa was sleeping so I gently touched his shoulder and kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes when I said, "I love you," and he said it back...his energy level is minimal. He then reached over to give Brandon and then Dylan a hug, but went straight back to sleep. Mom and Kate (Hospice caregiver) were trying to each pour water into Dad's mouth. I took the cup and asked Mom for a straw and was able to drop about 3 tsp. of water slowly into his mouth. It sounds like when he swallows it's going straight to his lungs. I sat with him and found myself listening for every breath...for the most part, I believe he's resting comfortably.
I was so hoping he'd make it to his 82nd birthday...you know how he thought he wouldn't make it past 40-something...(and I know that is being selfish on my part)...this is not the life he wanted to live.
We are on our way back down to their house now so I'll write more when I see how he is today. I love you all!

MVT

Hi Lauren, Reynolds told me that Mom talks to him about the c.d.'s, and at those times she remembers them. I think her forgetfullness is something that comes and goes; it's not yet constant. But I remember Grandmother's days very well, and this is how they started. All details written on a calendar to try to keep up.
Mom said if she has to move, it will be to MVT, but that she's not ready to move just yet. It's good to know the market is slow and they have units available, because that has not always been the case. At MVT she will be around friends of hers, and I think the socializing would actually help her memory and help keep her on track. Maybe after a week or so alone in the house, MVT will look better and better to her.
Also, I still haven't read her long term care policy and I need to do that. Blocking off an hour of quiet time to read an insurance policy just hasn't happened yet, but I need to do that soon. Once she qualifies for assisted living, the insurance will pay for it. And we all know how she hates writing those big checks for caregivers! :)

just when you start to relax...

There really is no such thing as a dull moment. I talked to Fran a little while ago and she updated me on what's going on at the Brown house. If this is "it" (and remember, it's been "it" before) then this is how things are supposed to be. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I've got to work this weekend so I'll have a day off this week. I'm thinking I'll come up and see them, see if there's anything I can do to help.

I just go off the phone with Mt Vernon Towers. There is not currently a waiting list. "The market is a little slow," so they do have units available. One and two bedrooms for both sale and lease. Not the answer I was expecting, but this could definately be a good thing. This is one of those times that I think I need to quit my job and move to Atlanta to take care of them. Do you think they'll let a 25 year old live at MVT with Gama? It really scares me that she doesn't even remember that there's still money in CD's from the sale of the Alabama land. I can't help but wonder if MVT is right for Gama. It looks to me more of an Independent Living Facility. Should we be looking at Assisted Living? What does everybody think?

lunchtime today

Rachel and I went to see Mom and Dad during lunch today. Between the kidney infection and emphysema, he's in a lot of discomfort. Mom said a nurse from hospice is coming this afternoon. I was really depressed this morning, and going to see Mom and Dad made me feel a lot better.

Dad is back in hospice

Mom just now called me. Rodney, the p.t., came this morning. He took one look at Dad, aghast, and asked what happened. Mom told him about the kidney infection. He took Dad's blood pressure and said "He's going to the hospital." Mom said, "I don't think so." Rodney said, "He's going to hospice then." Mom told Rodney that Dad doesn't want to go to hospice. He wants to stay home. She told him that when he first came home Visiting Nurses of Atlanta came to see him and they are hospice. So Rodney called Dad's doctor, talked to him, and that's the plan. Dad is staying home under hospice care. Mom said she hoped she made the right decision. I told her I think she did. I told her that yesterday Robert asked Fran and I about hospice, and Fran said, "No, we're not transporting him anywhere." I told them Dad can have hospice at home. That seemed to make Mom feel better; the fact that we discussed the possibility of hospice yesterday while there and felt that it would be best given at home. I also reminded her that transporting him has never been a good experience, especially for him. She agreed. Personally, I think he would give up and die if we took him out of his home.

Monday, August 11

Reynolds, apology accepted. We are family.

This blog is so all the information is open to all of us and so that we are all "on the same page". I think it has been especially helpful in seeing what Mimi is saying and remembering, and NOT remembering. James Thrash's telephone number is 334-319-0646 if anyone in the family would like to contact him or go hunting w/ him and his family. Mimi called us the previous Tuesday night after James Thrash called her, b/c she knew Robert and the boys had gone hunting w/ the man last year. For the record, all conversations Robert had w/ him in the past were regarding hunting the land, except this past Friday when Kathy asked Robert to call to say that Mimi and Papa are not able to speak w/ him during this difficult time and to please contact a family member other than Mimi. This is strictly my opinion, but I don't know that she needs to sell any more land when she has money from the past sale and she doesn't even remember she has it.

I s/w Mimi this morning and Papa was sleeping. I forgot that Chantal is off today for dental appts and won't be back until tomorrow morning. Mimi said she didn't sleep b/c she kept thinking Papa was calling her. This morning, Papa kept pulling his oxygen tube out and she kept putting it back in. This continued until he fell back asleep and then she put it back in.

Fran & Robert - My Apologies

Fran & Robert,
I sincerely apologize for not deleting the draft copy of the blog that should have never been written. I am not suing anybody, especially you guys. I did not read the blog all the way and jumped to conclusions. I worked close with Dad on the farm in the 80's and 90's and then Dad would no longer talk to me anymore about the farm, which has made me very angry. After I wrote the draft, I started thinking how helpful Robert has been to Dad & Mom and this land is not worth splitting up the family. I had no idea the draft was still on the blog and was not going to publish it. This was supposed to be one of those notes that you write and then throw away. From my heart, I am truly sorry that I even had these thoughts and wrote them.


Reynolds

Papa

When I got there today Dad smiled. He was too weak to talk. But when I said "I love you" he struggled and said 'I love you'. His kidneys are shutting down I think. His skin was very cold to the touch. When Fran & Robert and the boys got there, he smiled and smiled and managed to be a bit more coherent for a few minutes. When I was there and we was awake (sort of) he just wanted me to sit next to him and hold his hand.

Sunday, August 10

Went to see Mimi and Papa today. Kathy was there when we got there. Papa has severely declined since last weekend. Mom said Chantal called today to check on him and in the past few months she has never done that on her weekends off. He has blood in his urine and he is in pain now when he has to pee (which is only appox a Tablespoon at a time). He is sleeping about 99% of the time and not eating (he had a biscuit for breakfast and some sips of water in the afternoon). He is having trouble "focusing" when you are talking to him. He has a rattle in his chest.

While out in the driveway on our way out, I asked Mimi what she is going to want to do. She said she is staying at the house at least for awhile. I reminded her how scared she was staying alone at night. She said if she goes anywhere it will be Mt Vernon Towers but she isn't leaving the house any time soon. She told us how Ms. Roose and Mr. and Mrs. Kelly are at Mt Vernon Towers, and how they should have bought when it was only $15K a unit and it is now $150K a unit. My plan is to go down to Mt Vernon Towers on Friday and see what the wait-list is like and if a deposit is required to get on the wait-list.

We just hung up the phone w/ Mimi. Papa has not eaten since the biscuit this morning. He has woken up only briefly to take a few sips of water.

weekend

(I am repeating some of what Kathy has posted but here goes...)
I s/w Mimi on Friday morning and she said Papa ate two pieces of KFC Thursday night and threw up that morning. I assumed his body couldn't handle the grease from the chicken. Then yesterday she left me a message while I was out and said he had thrown up again Sat. a.m. and had blood in his urine due to a kidney infection and had been put on meds. I'm no doctor, but I would certainly think the vomiting is from the infection, not the chicken like I assumed at first. He is also sleeping a lot, probably also due to the infect. Robert called her 5 minutes ago and she said he hadn't thrown up this a.m. but woke up, ate a biscuit, and went back to sleep.
When I called Mimi Friday morning, she brought up James Thrash's call again from earlier in the week. I asked her "What are you wanting to do?" and really didn't get an answer. I said that Papa had specifically said to us he was saving the rest of the land for his children/grandchildren and that she still had money in the cd's from the other land sold. She said (and I quote!), "What CD's?". I said "The CD's y'all opened when you sold some of the land". She said, "Well, there isn't much in there." I said, "Mom, one of them has over $200K in it!!!" I didn't get much response after that, and I called Kathy immediately. I am having flashbacks of Lola and her finances. I told Kathy, we have got to do something soon. I think w/ Fred being an Accountant he could really help us, and somehow we'll have to get a POA worked out.
Also, we are going down there in about an hour, and I am going to ask her what she wants to do when Papa's time does come. If she is wanting to go where Mrs. Roose is then we need to get her on the waiting list. I was planning on going this week, but I have an interview Tuesday (everyone PLEASE pray for me!), and my "female surgery" on Wednesday. I may be able to go on Friday. We need to start asking her what her plan is, whether his time is 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, etc. b/c she is terrified of being alone in the house at night and w/ what happened w/ our conversation last Friday, I don't know if she is mentally capable of caring for herself.

Dad's been sick

Dad wanted KFC for the 2nd time last week on Thursday night. He ate 2 pieces. Friday morning he threw up. They thought it was the greasy chicken. He only peed a little on Friday and it was full of blood. Chantal called the nurse, who came almost immediately. The nurse said it was a kidney infection and had the dr. call in a bunch of meds. She told Mom to go to Cosco and get the meds. and 2 gallons of cranberry juice, which she did. Yesterday morning Mom got up and Dad and his bed were covered in vomit. It took her and Chantal both to get Dad and the bed cleaned up and give Dad a bath. I asked her how Dad felt and she said "not good". I asked if he was nauseous. She said no (how would she know?) She said she tried to give him cranberry juice and he tried to take a swat at her. I said, "Oh, he's feeling out of sorts." and she said yes. 10:15 a.m. Sunday - just called Mom and asked about Dad. She said they were just debating on whether to wake him up for a bath or let him sleep. I said I would let him sleep and then a bath when he wakes up will probably help him to feel better. She agreed. She's wishy washy about coming up today. I told her to call me when Dad wakes up.

James Thrash and the land

Found out from Fran today that James Thrash called Mom earlier in the week, wanting to buy some more of the Alabama property. Mom was considering it. Fran reminded her that she still had c.d.'s from the last land they sold. Mom didn't remember having the c.d.'s. I asked Robert today to give James a call and ask him not to call Mom anymore. Robert and James had a nice conversation. It was the 110 acres on Pea River that James was interested in for him and his 2 sons to hunt. He told Robert he has already chased someone off that property. Robert told him Dad had a stroke, etc. and asked him not to call the house anymore, but to call one of us instead. (He and Robert have each other's phone numbers.) In return for keeping an eye on the property, Robert told him he and his 2 sons (close in age to Trey & Conner Boy) could hunt the property. Like Robert said, "You know they're going to anyway." In return James told Robert that he and the boys could hunt his property, too. And that he has several tree stands set up. I think it would be nice if one weekend this fall Robert and the boys and James & his boys could all get together over there for a hunting weekend. Ummm, that's 6 males with guns.......I'm staying the hell out of those woods! :)

I will try before the end of the year to get on Mom's bank accounts. But having power of attorney is going to be a whole different story. Hopefully she will agree to it.

Mom

Mom called me last night. Said she hadn't talked to me in a while and wanted to know about my weekend at the lake. I gently reminded her that actually we talked last Monday and the lake was great. Then I told her again how we ate, watched movies, talked and laughed. She asked again if I had talked to Choice. I said No. She was surprised and had to once again complain about them. (Is she obsessed???) I responded that actually with BBB Choice and Eldercare both had the same rating - satisfactory. I asked her if she was going to be able to come up Sunday. (We're having Jodi over for shish kabobs for her birthday at 3 on Sunday. I had previously invited Mom.) Good opportunity for her to get out, and also to see Jodi and the baby. And Jodi really does care about our family and wants to be a part of it. So as of right now she's planning on coming. First phone call in 2 weeks the 2 of us have had without one or both of us getting riled up. Afterwards, I lay on the sofa watching t.v. and felt deeply sad/heartbroken/depressed. Why? I asked myself. Was it because I had a great time the past 2 weekends and Mom sucked me back into reality? Mom can't help that. Then I felt really, really low and selfish. So I took one of the Xanax Lauren had given me and went to bed. First one I've taken since she gave them to me, and I was sure glad I had it last night. Reactive depression - that's what Jodi told me a few months ago I could be having. Must of had a relapse last night, took the Xanax, and slept like a baby. Today is a new day. Now Kathy - go take on the day.

slumber parties

I spoke with Lauren about the possibility of going up with her on Saturday since Papa wanted us to have another "slumber party" (he remembers the night we had Rachel, KK, Lauren and me there). He asked last weekend, "Where are you going?" I told him, "To Fran's - I have a team assignment due and I have to have internet connection." I could tell he was disappointed so I asked him if he wanted us to have another slumber party at his house...he said, "Yes," and smiled slightly. He loves having all of us there.
I'm not sure now that I will come up this weekend because of expenses (gas). I've had so many medical bills lately with myself and the kids and have cut my piano students (and babysitting that child at 5 a.m. during the week) down to 4 instead of 9....for my own sanity! Dylan needs me to be available after school so I don't want to tie myself down to piano students 4 - 5 days a week.
I don't think I mentioned on the blog earlier that Dad seemed so peaceful this past weekend; he was not agitated at all (except for when he sensed the new caregiver's uncertainty about moving him); she was nice but not bery knowledgeable!

Dad & Mom

I went to visit Dad & Mom this evening. Dad was in a good mood and asked me to eat dinner with Mom. He started to get a little anxious since he had not been to the bathroom (#2) for a couple of days, but Chantel assured him that he was not going to die from not going. I asked Dad if he wanted a cup of coffee and the Sunday paper and he started laughing. Dad and Mom were nice to each other tonight. Is Chantel giving both of them something?

This is my response to Robin....

Don't get your feelings hurt. Mom gets huffy when someone tells her something that's different from what is stuck in her head (whether it's fact or fantasy). She got huffy with me when I told her you and Lauren did not say for sure you were coming, and she said that about you while she was being huffy. She hasn't hurt my feelings lately but she's done a real good job of pushing my buttons and pissing me off! Today she called me at work and left a message that she had something she wanted to tell me about Choice. So I called her back and basically she just wanted to tell me again how bad she thought they were, and to watch what I say to them because she's heard they have to have a whole staff of attorneys.

....and yes, Mom had to call me today to tell me one more time how horrible Choice is. I asked how her weekend was and mentioned that I heard the caregiver could not get Dad in and out of bed. She said, "Where did you hear that?" I said, "Both Robin and Fran." So then she admitted it was true. Then she continued to do her usual ranting about Choice. I said, "Well you've got someone now that you picked out so you should be happy." She lauged and said, "Well, I've only had one person and I didn't pick her." "I said, No, I mean you now have an agency that you picked so you should be happy." Then she did her formal thank you like she does when she's ready to hang up, so I said Bye.

BTW, I checked BBB and Choice has a rating of Satisfactory, same as Eldercare.

Robin's visit this weekend

Got this email from Robin today:


We had a good weekend….I brought the 3 videos up that I ordered from Discovery Channel….Nonie (sp?) and I worked for an hour trying to get the DVD player to work…no luck…so I went to Target and bought another one…came back, hooked it up, and it worked beautifully. Mom kept saying the cable guy hooked the other one up so I asked if anyone had seen it working….no one could tell me…so apparently the one we gave him at Father’s Day had never really been seen working so I hope you still have the receipt for it. Dad really enjoyed the DVD on Spain and said, "We stood right there." Dad also told me that he wants to "go down there." I said, "Where? To Macon with Lauren," and he said, "Yes." I lied and told him, "Mom and Lauren are checking on that."
Nonie was very intimidated (standoffish and watching me) and didn’t appear to know what to do with most everything. She didn’t even know WHERE to start with getting Dad in and out of the bed…basically I lifted him alone – I was impressed with his ability to scoot his butt back onto the bed (once I had him on the edge). I sat on the loveseat while he did a breathing treatment and she didn’t notice that the meds were all gone (the cup was empty)…good way to burn out a motor!
I asked Mom what I stuck my nose into…apparently she just thought Lauren was coming and I told her that Lauren was unsure about coming up until the last minute (she’s going next weekend). I asked Mom if she’d prefer I didn’t come…if she just wanted Lauren to come….and she said, "I want you to do what you want to do with the price of gas, etc." I need to realize that she has dementia and not get my feelings hurt.

1st weekend of August

Eldercare started Saturday and sent a nice lady who's abilities seemed, to me, just the same as the people Choice sent. Time will tell, I guess. Robert went down Saturday and cut their grass, and Robin and Dylan also went on Saturday. Robin told me that Papa slept most of the time. Then yesterday (Sunday) Robin, Dylan, Trey, Conner and I went and spent the afternoon. It took the CNA from Eldercare, Robin and I all to move Papa from bed to wheelchair and vice versa. I'm not so sure this CNA could move him by herself. I'm wondering if Mimi is going to regret getting rid of Choice since they made accommodations for her by sending ONLY Joseph or Jeremy on the weekends who were both capable of lifting him. Abby and Max walked down to visit. Papa sat outside for about 20 minutes watching all the boys play, and then I noticed he kept falling asleep and told Robin and I he wanted to go back in. He watched TV for a little bit, ate half a sandwich and then slept the rest of the time. He didn't seem agitated at all this weekend. If he is sleeping most of the time now, I am not so sure a nursing home will be needed.
And, again, there's the question of who will look after Mimi.

When his time does come, we need to figure out what we are going to do about Mimi's living situation. Sara had told me about 2 months ago that Mimi tells her she is NOT leaving her house....ever. But Lauren brought up a good point a couple of posts back - Mimi is terrified of sleeping in the house alone. I had forgotten what an ordeal it was for her while he was at St Joe's and Hospice and how she barricades the doors. Maybe we should each individually ask her what she is going to want to do and see if she tells us all the same thing! If she wants to go where Mrs. Roose is then we need to get her on the waiting list.

Mom

Agree, Mom's seems to be very stressed out and not remembering things very well. Dad keeps complaining that she is mean to him, but he is very hateful to her too. Just about everytime I go to the house, she tells me that she can't wait to move out of there. Madeline Roose's visit a few weeks ago got her 'fired up' to move into Hammond Towers. Probably a different story from her this week.

i'm back!

Sorry that I've been on a hiatus. The site wouldn't let me sign in. This morning I realized that I'd been putting in my user name instead of my e-mail address. Ugh. I've heard that Gama has been making a fuss that I was coming up this weekend. I told her I might be coming up, but since Caitlin and I have been painting my house (one of my many projects I've been putting off since we moved in almost a year and a half ago) I've got stuff moved out of my bedroom and bathroom and ma going to get things put back together this weekend. I never told her I was coming up. Actually, I don't remember mentioning to her at all that I had planned to come up this weekend, but I never tell her for sure that I'm coming up until the Wed or Thurs before I plan to be there. I figure she'd forget if I told her before then anyway. Maybe it's the stressful situation, but she seems to be forgetting more and more everytime I talk to her.

One thing we need to consider for sure before moving Papa into a home, is what to do with Gama? I think we all know that she doesn't need to be in that house alone. Not to mention that it scares her to death to be there by herself. There are all kinds of apartment communities that cater to the elderly. Some of them allow them the freedom to come and go as they please, but there's always someone on the grounds just in case. It needs to be presented to her as a package deal. If Papa goes into a home, then she needs to go into an apartment. As somebody said, up to this point we've been lucky-Chantel has been there for Papa, but it's been good for Gama too to have somebody around.

Hope everyone has a good weekend! Keep me posted!
-lauren

Friday, August 1

s/w Mimi earlier and asked about the 10am appt this morning - she said the new weekend agency rep (Eldercare?) had been there and they will have someone there at 7am tomorrow (Saturday) morning and they are more expensive. I told her that I s/w Robin last night and Robin had told her that she and Lauren WOULD MAYBE be there this weekend, not definitely, so that she needed to make sure someone is going to be there in the morning to relieve Chantal. I asked about Choice, and Mimi said she hadn't paid them so was assuming they wouldn't be there. I hung up w/ Mimi and s/w Kathy and Kathy said unless she CALLS Choice, that they will be there. Hung up w/ Kathy and called Mimi back and said unless you call Choice, you are going to have two people there tomorrow morning (assuming Eldercare WILL acutually be there - since Chantal recommended them I feel they WILL show up - Lord help us). Mimi told me she would call them as soon as she and I hung up. Then Kathy called me later and said Deborah at Choice had called her & said Mimi had called, and wanted to make sure she didn't want anyone there tomorrow. I thought it was funny b/c Mimi said "Did your big sister put you up to this?" and I said no and heard Chantal say in the background (and I quote) "You have good children...all of them". I told Mimi "You tell Chantal you sure do!" hee hee hee