Mom's Doctor

Robin - While Mom's down there this weekend, see if you can get the name of her family dr. and I'll make her an appt. for the week of Thanksgiving. Y'all have fun! I bet Dylan is excited that Max is coming. Those 2 are a hoot together!

Fran - How did it go last night?

Mom and this weekend

Hi everyone,

I just got an email from Abbe and Max. We've been trying to find a weekend when they and Mom could come for a visit. Abbe just wrote and said, "How about this Saturday - just for the day?" I was hoping they (and Mom) would spend the night because I think it does Mom good to get away, but Abbe needs to get back so it will be a day trip. I told her that sounded wonderful...Lauren, plan to come over and eat if y'all can on Saturday - probably a late lunch or early dinner is what I'm thinking.

I told Mom to talk to her doctor when she went to get the flu shot. I don't think that's gonna happen unless one of us accompanies her. I will be up the week of T'giving for Dylan to see Angela Cotton. I'll see about getting her an appt. then. I wish she could see my family doctor here - he is great, aggressive, and checks out every avenue...very thorough....I know it's not practical since the doc is here but I was at least hoping to get her on memory meds...

We just went through SACS accreditation today (Southern Accred. of Colleges/Schools) so I am whipped...I was one of 5 teachers interviewed for almost an hour about our school and school system....of course we were coached - don't dare say anything negative....I'm glad it's over!

Love to all,

Robin

Tues. Oct 28

Just in case anyone is trying to reach mom tonight, she is spending the night at our house. I have to be at work early in the morning, but Robert said he will "hang out" w/ her in the morning until she is ready to head back home. Wish us luck! :-)

Mom for now

I was talking to Mom yesterday and she told me she thought about getting a cat. I said, "You don't need a cat. You would forget to change the litter box." She denied that. I said, "Jake is housetrained. But when you kept him, he kept pooping inside because you forgot to let him out." She mentioned that Robin said she needs Aricept. I said, "You do." She asked if that was for Alzheimer's. I said, "You need some memory pills. You need to go see your dr. to get them." So then she got side tracked on how she got her flu shot yesterday at the dr's office but didn't see the dr.

I only have one vacation day left the rest of this year, which I'm going to use on Christmas Eve. So I have no time left to do anything for Mom till next year. But for right now, I think this needs to be done:
1. Someone needs to get their name on Mom's accounts along with hers; someone local. Right now Reynolds and Fran have power of attorney
2. Mom needs to go see her dr., with one of us along to listen, and be evaluated for dementia.

I need to read Mom's long term care policy thoroughly. I keep saying I'll do that.

Mom doesn't leave the house much anymore, so I think right now she's harmless to herself and others. But I do think that eventually there will be an incident that forces us to take action.

I don't think we should do anything more at this very moment. Many of my friends have reminded me that she just lost her partner of 55 years and should be given time to grieve. I don't know if grieving is the correct term for her right now, but they are all suggesting we "lay off" for a respectable amount of time. I think it always helps to get someone's opinion who is outside the fish bowl.

Last but not least, I still have Anna's 3 books on caregiving. If anyone wants to read them, just let me know.

and so it begins...again

Conversations about what to do with our family members are becoming waaayyyyyy too frequent. I talked to Fran one day last week and we discussed some of the same stuff y'all have been talking about on here... Sorry I haven't contributed, but for the longest time this crazy thing wouldn't let me on, then I was in the middle of a job change...you know how it goes.

I definately think Gama is going down-hill. I knew something was going on when she totted her purse down the aisle at my wedding and then wouldn't put it down when she came to see danny and my first house. It has gotten progressively worse since Feb though, no doubt. Or at least that was the first opportunity I had to really see it up close since that's when I started seeing her more. Unfortunately, things aren't going to get better-they'll get worse. I think that now is the time for us-someone, anyone-to take over her finances, get her moved out of the house and into somewhere she'll be comfortable. If she won't give it up, we can have her declared incompetent. I'd really hate to do that though because I wouldn't want her to resent us. That's the kind of thing she WOULD remember. I think she and her children need to have a little meeting. An "intervention" was mentioned earlier. I'll be glad to go since I am fairly familiar with the kind of setting she would need to be in. I think that MVT is not going to provide her with the kind of supervision that she needs. And she does need supervision. I think that we need to find an assisted living facility that also has a skilled nursing facility that offers an alzheimers unit. I know that those are all ugly words, but plan for the worst and hope for the best. We know these facilities are out there because we came across them when we were looking for a place for Papa. An assisted living facility (ALF) would allow her a little apartment with a kitchenette and 1-2 bedrooms. They have a dining room so that people are eating something other than Oreos. Once things got bad, it would be an easier transition to the skilled nursing facility (SNF). I'd hate to move her to MVT and then just a few years later move her to a SNF. Just some things to think about. She doesn't really acknowledge that she has a problem. She says things like, "I'm losing my mind," or "I can't remember anything." But heck, so do I and I don't have dementia. I think now is the time to have the "talk" and let her know that we've all noticed that something is not quite right. The trick will be to do it in a non-threatening, we're-trying-to-take-your-money,-home,-and (lord-forbid) your-purse way. I'm sure everyone has thoughts...but we can't just think about it. We have to do something about it. I will be out of town this weekend, but am tentatively planning on going up the following weekend. That's the weekend of Nov. 1. Lemme know if that works for y'all as far as having the big talk. Do you think we can get organized and get some solutions for these problems together by then? I think it might comfort her to know that we've thought about some alternatives to her current situation when we approach her. That we're not just trying to throw her out on the street. It's also important to let her know that we all want the very best and safest things for her, you know, that we're not trying to take advantage of her. I know it's a lot to think about, but we've been through some tough things as a family this year. I think we can make it through this too.

Lemme know what you think.
-lauren

No Dog for Mom

When Mom had Jake, he kept pooping in the house because she didn't take him out. When Brad Culp from Griswold's came to Dad's room at Hospice Atlanta to meet me about a caregiver for Dad at home, in walked Mom and Jake. They had only been there for a minute when Jake did 2 big poops in the room. Mom was oblivious. I stopped talking to Brad and asked Mom, "When was the last time he was taken outside?" She said, "I don't know."

Mom

I definitely see Mom doing some of the same things that Grandmother did....the pacing, not eating or eating the same thing over and over again....I thought the dog idea was great when Lauren let Jake stay with Mom for a few days...the problem was that Mom forgot to even let Jake outside to go to the bathroom. She would spend her days cleaning up after a dog (or maybe not even cleaning up after a dog).

One of my coworkers is going through something similar with her Mom; she sent out a mass email asking if anyone had gone through it with their parent/s and I suggested a few organizations to contact that I knew about because of respite care for children w/disabilities. She contacted the Senior Citizens program here and they actually now pick her mother up 3 days a week (around 8 a.m.), feed her breakfast and lunch, provide activities for her and then transport her home. I am sure there is something similar in Atlanta and will be glad to make a few calls if y'all want me to. The cost is minimal too - something like $7 a day....I couldn't believe it!

I know that stress definitely affects the memory and the more Mom stays to herself and inside/home alone, the worse it will get. Being with people, socializing, and interacting (even exercising again like they used to do) with others will stimulate Mom's brain and help.

Mom

Fran, I agree. We need to make a plan and soon. MTV may not be the place for mom. St. George's in Roswell, Sunshine on Johnson Ferry Rd (Merchants Walk), AG Rhodes, and Wesley Woods would accommodate mom, as her dementia progresses. A caregiver living with mom at home would be nice, but I think she would run them off. I still have access to 'Health Advocates' as a company benefit if we need their help.

Mimi

I don't know what the answer is either, but we have got to do something soon. I was thinking about getting her a dog for companionship (we all know how much she loves schnauzers) but how will she remember to feed a pet when I know she isn't remembering to feed herself (except for ALL sweets). One of the ladies that works at the Atlanta branch (Delores) has her mom living w/ her but has to pay a caregiver b/c her mom started wandering and getting lost. Delores has been telling me all sorts of things about Alzheimer's that I didn't know....like, the "laps" Robin said she did while she was watching TV around the den and living room is a sign and called "pacing", and the only eating sweets or not eating is a sign b/c their brain stops recognizing the stomach's signal of hunger, and the hiding her purse and forgetting where she put it and feeling of paranoia (about her purse and w/ barricading the door even when the house alarm is on). Also, like I said her mom was wandering and getting lost and, while I don't think mom is "there" yet, she told me last month that she wants a GPS b/c she gets lost - I asked, WHERE are you going that you get lost? and she avoided answering. Anyway, this ladies mom is further into it but she had A LOT of the same characteristics. She has her mom on a patch b/c her mom can't remember to take the pills; however, the patch is almost $300/month and we know how mom is about money. Also, Delores suggested a website and I'll email it to everyone - when she contacted them she told them she had no idea how much info and help they could provide and the Association told her they hear that a lot. Lastly, she suggested a movie that she bought off of PBS after they aired a program that she said helped her tremendously. I'll email all this to everyone tonight and we have got to make a plan.

The Sun Will Come Out...Tomorrow :)

Mom

Hey Reynolds - I think the Dave Ramsey is a great idea. But you'll have to fill it out with her, and go over it reapeatedly with her.

Dad's needs were easy compared to Mom's. I just don't know what to do at this point. I know we're all overwhelmed with our own lives. What to do about Mom just isn't really obvious. I keep thinking about the Johnson's up the street, and how Mom used to say they were left alone by their kids when they needed intervention. Wonder how Mom would feel about intervention? And how the hell could she have no clue what she did 24 hours before I talked to her??? Someone mentioned Mom's anger. I think Mom's always had anger issues. And I also think Dad covered up for her dementia for years. I asked him about it once when he was in Hospice Atlanta, and he confirmed that he did. Do we leave her where she is and act like everything's just peachy? I don't know the answer. And I did NOT read her long term care policy this weekend because of the asthma. But I will. Reading it really doesn't help though if we have no direction.

Love y'all,
Kathy

Conversation with Mom

Hi all,
Seems like it's been forever since I've read the blog...just because of time limitations. I know we're all busy and I need to just MAKE TIME to read and post; hopefully things will get better since I only have to post twice a week in UOP now. I just proposed my dissertation and had to make major changes to my topic and now have to review literature - about 50 articles to determine what is relative to my topic. At least I love my mentor - he's a hoot! In one of my research questions, I suggested I'd be researching whether or not teachers and speech pathologists "feel sufficiently trained" to implement communication systems (sign-language, assistive technology, etc) to children with communication impairments. Dr. Moon replied, "Since I know EVERYTHING, if you ask me if I feel sufficiently trained to do brain surgery, I might say, "Yes!" But if you ask me to list my training in brain surgery, I would list nothing! I got his point.... :o)

I just spoke with Mom...I had called yesterday and got her answering machine and left a message; when I mentioned calling yesterday, I could tell she didn't remember it...maybe she didn't check her messages, although I find that hard to believe. I can tell she is very lonely...

Kathy, she did finally call me about the Honda and said she took it to Eddie to look at (of course, I was puzzled and then she explained to me that Eddie is the car repairman). Eddie supposedly told her not to take less than $2500 for it; I asked her if Eddie checked the seals (my Eddie is afraid the seals are dried out/cracked and wanted them checked - or wants to look at them himself...either way). She had forgotten to ask the mechanic about the seals. She said, "Eddie said the car isn't rusted which is a very good thing....supposedly Eddie was shocked!" - I thought rust on cars typically happened up north from the snow/salt on roads?????????????????

Abby and Max are planning to come down in about two weeks and bring Mom with them. Mom was excited about that! You know you all have an open invitation to come anytime! We love having you! By the way, Mom thought Dylan and I were coming this weekend....(don't know WHERE that came from). I told her that we couldn't because it is Corey's 13th b'day party!

Better get Dylan headed towards the bed...he played his drums and xylophone for Mom over the phone; she got a good laugh out of that!

Love to all,

Robin

mom

I have noticed every time I talk to mom she says "Its good to hear from you" like I haven't talked to her in weeks and every time I remind her that I just talked to her a couple of days before - I really don't think she remembers. She was kind of doing that before dad passed away (I remember Fred Seamen saying "I think you could talk to her everyday and she would say that") but it has definitely gotten worse. I wish she would move to MVT but I'm wondering if shes going to need even more assistance than they offer.

Mom

I have been checking to see if she has been drinking and I don't think she has been. I do believe her dementia is getting worse due to depression and anger, but I am no doctor. Is anger part of the grieving process? She called last night to tell me that she is thinking of hiring the guy (she calls him the 'Israeli') that mows the yard next door. Dad was in the process of talking to the "Israeli" in January. Mom said that she really appreciates Robert's help but does not want to be a burden to him with the drive and cost of gas. Mom then asked me if I wanted the lawn mower, but I think Robert, Trey and Conner should have first dibs on it since they're the only ones that know how to use it. Also, mom asked me to clean up the stuff (tools) in the backyard because she is ready to get rid of it. Hopefully, a good sign!

Kathy, per your previous blog, I will take mom a 'Dave Ramsey' budget later this week to see if this will help her feel more organized.

Mom on 10/14

I tried to call Mom twice yesterday and no answer. Today, she had no absolutely idea what she did yesterday or where she was. Scary. Do you think it's dementia or drinking again? We're taking Brandon to Berry Patch Farms this Sat. to the pumpkin patch, and then to Cagle Dairy for the corn maze. (I'll let Fred take him through that. I'm in day #14 of asthma. Got my own nebulizer now!) Mom's going to be at my house at 10 a.m. to join in the Halloween fun. She said she did talk to Reynolds yesterday but she couldn't remember that he really said anything.

Saturday

I talked to Mom yesterday. She didn't make it to church yesterday, but she did go to Manfred's class last week and she's going again this week. I didn't get a chance to read her long term care policy this weekend. I spent most of the weekend in bed and resting and trying to get rid of this asthma. JC's (James Carroll) son had a baseball game in Sandy Springs Sat., so they stopped by Mom's and they all went to the Brickery for lunch. She had a great time! J.C. didn't know Dad had died. He's mad at Uncle James for not telling him; said he's talked to Uncle James and he never said a word. Mom said they probably couldn't remember.

Mom called last night to let me know she was going up to the Cantor's last night to eat for Yom Kippur. She said they invited her up to eat also on Tues. night of last week, and she showed up on Monday night. I asked why she didn't write it down on her calendar, and she said she does when "it's handy". Martha (?) made her go with her to Manfred's class this week. Mom didn't want to go (surprise, surprise!), but enjoyed it once she did. Sara took Mom to lunch for Mexican one day this week and Mom enjoyed that. I think Sara stops by to see Mom more than we do! Fran - do you have her address? I should write her a note. Mom said she still doesn't have her Thank You notes written. So...in 2 months she can't get her Thank You notes written. Does that give us a clue about the house??? Then she said she hates living by herself. So, once again, my chance to mention MVT. Now she has it in her head that she can't afford that! I pointed out that she has enough money from the sale of the land to buy a place, and she gets enough from S.S. and her monthly annuity to cover her monthly living expenses. Even if the house isn't sold first, I think she can afford it! She also said something about not selling the house now because it's going to go commercial. Then she switched over to the Head's house and how it's rental property and the people moved out and she doesn't know why. (scream!) But anyway, I was thinking. Mom & Dad have always trusted Reynolds' financial wisdom. And Fred is an accountant. Maybe one weekend Reynolds and Fred can sit down with Mom and show her on paper that she does indeed have enough money to buy a place and she does not have to live alone. And I know I have been saying this for 6 months - but I promise I will read her Long Term Care policy this weekend.

Talked to Mom yesterday. She said she was puttering. Asked her if she went to church Sunday and she said "No". I asked why not? She said "Because I didn't feel like it. Did you go?" I told her no because I was on my way home from NM. She said she would start back once she gets everything in order. I laughed and said, "That's never gonna happen." She was suprised I thought that!

Oct 4

I called mom earlier in the week and again yesterday (Friday) on my way home from work - everytime I call her she says she is on the sofa...not good. I asked Robert to call her mid-week to check on her and she said she was doing fine. She told him the same story about Brandon borrowing her car and her leaving her purse that she had told me a week before - she gave Robert the impression it had happened that day.

I told mom not to worry, but that Kathy had called me earlier in the day from out west and has Asthmatic Bronchitis. I called our allergy doctor (Kathy and I go to the same one) and they called her in an inhaler and steroids to a pharmacy out there. Then, I called Robin last night, and SHE also has bronchitis. Do we all have the allergy/asthma gene, or what!

I don't think Mom is ever going back to church on her own. I'm going to call Bill & Nancy Ham and see if they can get someone in the Sunday School Class to offer Mom a rider and take her.

After last weekend's debacle, I have to agree....ROLL TIDE!!!

Hi everyone!

I seem to take a hiatus from this every so often. This week's been busy...I've been trying to get things in order so that I can make a job move. Met with a lady this week about a position in a nursing home. I'm not real excited about working in a nursing home, but the money's better and it's much more flexible. Both of which are very important to me. Keep your fingers crossed that this works out. I don't think I can take much more of Coliseum Hospital's B.S.

I've told Gama countless times that I will help her do anything she needs around the house. I did notice that her bedroom (Fran's old bedroom) was a lot cleaner last weekend. I say a lot cleaner. The broken bottom half of Papa's old recliner was out of there and had been relocated to the carport. Is Anna still coming? I don't think she'd throw stuff like that out on her own...maybe Anna got a cattle prod after her. I've told her that I'll help her paint and a ton of other things, but when I get up there and ask what she wants to work on she says that we'll just wait and do it next time. Last summer, Rachel and I had made arrangements to come help her work on the basement one weekend and she wouldn't let us come. I don't want her to be mad at me for just going ahead and doing something, so I just let her win.

I've been trying to get a phone list together so that we can post it on her refrigerator because everytime I talk to her she asks me for somebody's number. I think we'll put one on her refrigerator and then hide a whole bunch all over the house so that when she loses one we can tell her where to find another one.

I talked to the ol' gal this morning. She didn't go to church this morning. She did go to the neighborhood party last night. She just couldn't believe how many babies there were in the neighborhood these days. I told her the neighborhood had finally come full circle. She thought that was funny. I talked to her for about 20 minutes when she finally said that she had just figured out that it was me and not Mama. She normally knows exactly who I am when I call. I mentioned going to Savannah at the end of the month to see some friends and she said that she just loved Savannah and that it was one of her favorite places. I told her that we'll take her there for the weekend sometime soon. I'll start looking at a calendar to see when we can do that. I think that would be something for her to look forward to. I'll let everybody know details for anyone who wants to go. I think she would really enjoy a little roadtrip with her family.

Hope everyone had a good weekend and is gearing up for the week ahead. Oh, and just one more thing for you Dawgs...
ROLL TIDE!!!

Hello?

Hello? Does anybody read this blog anymore? Just wanted to let everyone know that Fred and I are leaving for Albuquerque this Sat. and coming back the following Sunday. You can reach me on my cell phone.
Fran - I never did hear how it went with Trey's science teacher. What up?

This Weekend

Robin, Lauren and Dylan came up this weekend. Brandon and KK were also there on Saturday. I went down on Sunday morning, after I finally found some gas! Mom still seems to be in a fog. Robin said after Mom said Good-Night Sat. night that she walked in a circle through the living room and den 6 times! She needs to sell her Honda, but seems more interested in selling it to Ray the oxygen guy than to Eddie. She said for $1,800 she'll just keep it. Car isn't worth more than $2,200. She thinks Ray will give her $5,000. Turns out that offer was several years ago! I asked her if she's going to Sunday School next Sunday. She said, "I don't know. We'll have to see what this week brings." I said, "Well, it's going to bring a Sunday. They all do." Robin and I got a few men's clothes from her. I took stuff that I know Fred won't wear; it's going to Good Will. He will wear the Bay City Lodge tshirt though. We all need to excercise 30 minutes a day to ward off dementia!

Where to hide DDT?

I would put it in a black garbage bag and put it out with the garbage. I've done that with paint cans. I know - I'm bad.
Rick probably didn't take much because Mom was probably hovering over him. Maybe Robin and I can take her to Alabama one weekend and Reynolds and Fran can back up a truck to basement door and fill 'er up.

I went over to the house Friday evening to check on Mom and she really enjoyed eating Chinese with you guys on Thursday. She was also very appreciative of Robert mowing the yard. I went down in basement to see where we could start cleaning it out and determined that just about all of the 'crap' in the crawl space and under the steps could go in a dumpster. Mom told me that she did not want a dumpster in her driveway and that she would have Rick come clean out the stuff. Rick works for Cox Sanitation and Dad had him come over last year to take some stuff out. Though, I'm not sure he took a whole lot out. I also found cans of old insecticide that is now outlawed. Where the heck do you dispose of DDT?

Mom called yesterday to check on Fred and told me she forgot Sunday. I said, "I told you to write down Sat. night and Sun. on your calendar so you wouldn't forget." She said, "I need a keeper." I said, "I know Mom. That's why we need to get you on some memory medicine and get you another place to live. It's not good for you to live alone. And you're never going to get that house in shape to move. It's just not gonna happen. So you might as well move somewhere and take with you what you need and leave the rest." She replied, "And you think I'll be able to sell the house that way?" I said, "No, you're kids are gonna have to pitch in and clean it out so we can sell it." Then she changed her tune and told me she thought she's been doing pretty good by herself.
I don't know about y'all, but the week leading up to Dad's birthday was extremely depressing for me.

Monday, September 15

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REY!

(I am mailing your b-day present b/c I am scared to leave it for you at Mimi's house! It would be shuffled from room to room and then probably disappear!) :-)

I just called Mimi and she said she was laying on the sofa watching the news and thinks she had just dozed off. She told me she went out to dinner w/ Abby, Lee and Max Saturday night and then they walked around some shops afterward. She was so tired Sunday morning that she slept until almost noon. She didn't remember she was supposed to meet Madeline, Susan and the Kelly's at MVT's for lunch. Mrs. Roose told her they waited for her until around 1:30 and she never showed. She told me she completely forgot they were meeting.

Canton Chinese

We took Mom to the chinese place last night. Mmm good! When I got to Mom's she was looking at old pictures from her childhood. She was real happy. I thought to myself, "This is part of the process. We just can't rush her to do anything right now. If she wants to look at pictures and that makes her happy, then that's what she should do." We chided her some for the M&M's, cakes, oreos, ice cream and oatmeal cream pies in her house. She also eats those chicken pot pies. :) She doesn't understand why she owes Bill Thackston $1,600. That does seem like a lot of money for what he's doing, whatever that is. Reynolds - do you remember what all he's doing? Mom went to the N. Fulton annex and got Dad's car put into her name. She said it took no time at all. So she certainly doesn't need Bill for anything like that. She called me last night, very excited, to tell me Max has had strep throat and they were all sick with colds, but now that they're all better, the Cantors are taking her out to dinner Sat. night. Knowing Abbey, I bet she remembered yesterday was Dad's birthday. And Sunday Mom's meeting Roose at MVT for lunch. Roose is all for Mom moving up there so maybe she can persuade her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

Fran is working at Northside in Sandy Springs today. After work, I'm going down there and we're going to take her out to dinner.
Reynolds - I'm glad you saw Mom last night and she gave you some stuff. Anything we can get out of there and donate if we don't want it. At this rate, it's going to take her forever. I called her today and she was piddling with the birds in her china cabinet.

Mom

I had dinner with Mom last night and she actually had some stuff for me to take home (shirts, sweaters, socks, yard shoes, old belts). I'm going to take just about all of it to MUST Ministries. There are still piles of paper. Dad has two credit card accounts (Macys & Amex) in his name only, so I was trying to talk mom into closing them as soon as possible. Madeline Roose talked to mom yesterday and wants mom to come eat with her at MVT. I told mom that I really wish that she would move their for security reasons and she told me "not now". I will keep talking to her about MVT, Wesley Woods or somewhere.

I meant to post this a few days ago. I was talking to Mom on the phone and she said she's losing it or needs help or something to that effect. I said, "I know. We need to get you on some memory medicine." She said, "They have that?" I said, "Yes. Teresa, my friend that's a nurse, told me about it. I told Teresa that I need some, too." That made Mom laugh. But she's agreeable to getting on some memory medicine. Now to get her to the doctor so she can start....

Sun Sept 7

Just called mom and she said she is laying on the sofa reading the Sunday paper; I asked her why she didn't go to church, and she said b/c tomorrow (Monday) she is going to her Altar Guild meeting, lunch w/ church, and then her circle meeting. I told her I will be down at Nside Hosp in Atlanta a couple of days this week and that I will come by to see her after work.
I asked her about the grass and she said she doesn't think it needs cutting too bad but there are mushrooms growing everywhere. I told her Robert ran to the store but will call her back in a little while.

phone conversation with Mom

Hi all,
First of all, we (Dylan and I) really enjoyed having Mom, Kathy, Fred, and Brandon last weekend. We grilled out burgers/dogs (good ole Fred...the grillmaster) Sat. night and watched Cars with Brandon....how many times, Kathy? :o) I hated to see y'all go so early Sunday morning, but Fred reminds me of Dad in that respect....early to rise and hit the road early! Kathy and Fred are such wonderful grandparents to Brandon..he is blessed to have you both in his life!
I called Mom last night to tell her I probably was NOT coming up this weekend...maybe the next...I have my final project due in this class and I haven't accomplished much on it this weekend, other than the research. Mom had also previously told me she kept a pistol by her bed (I didn't know it was under the pillow); I said, "Mom, what would you do if it were one of your kids coming into the house?" and she replied, "Y'all just better not come into the house at night!" She told me about going to the Brickery with Jane and Harold, and I told her Lauren and I would go with her to church when we come up. Mom told me that ---- Littleton, the man that spoke at Dad's funeral, was fighting something....she wasn't sure what but thought it was cancer, and that she needed to get back into Sunday School to "support the young folks in her class."
Dylan and I have a few days off in October (9th - 13th, I think) so maybe we'll take Mom back to AL then...I'll talk to her and see. I just know how much she AND Mary enjoyed the visit.
Better get writing...love to all,
Robin

Wed Sep 3 and Thurs 4th

I called mom yesterday and she said she had a nice trip to WR and that she slept great when she was there. She said Sara had just stopped by to say "hello" on her way to a doctor's appt. She was working on thank you notes and said she had only done four. I told her that was great and just keep doing about four each day and they will get eventually all get done. I asked her if she and Martha were going to brunch again this Friday like she told me they were going to do every week - she said she hadn't talked to her. I said for her to call Martha and set that up but I don't think she has. Robert just called her this morning to ask her about the grass and she said it doesn't need cutting yet. He asked her how she is sleeping at night - she said she is putting a chair and a metal trash can in front of her bedroom door and sleeping w/ a nine-shot-pistol under her pillow. He told her that is dangerous and she said it is under the pillow NEXT to her (Lord help us!).

The Brickery

Jane and Harold Hill took Mom to eat at the Brickery last night. An early dinner before Jane's choir practice. She left a message on my phone so we would know where she is, and she sounded upbeat and happy.

This weekend

When we went to get Mom Sat. morning, we had to wait an hour for her to wander around the house. Then we thought we were all leaving. Instead, she walked around the cars and then got in Dad's car, rolled down the back window, stuck her hand out, and rolled it back up. Once she finally got in the car she said she couldn't believe she left Dad's car window down overnight. We told her she didn't. She's moving slow and sleeping a lot. She's never lived by herself before and she recently lost her husband of 55 years, so I remind myself to give her some time. It was a great weekend though. Thanks Robin! And I think it did Mom good.

IHOP

Just s/w Mimi, she said she and Martha ended up going to IHOP yesterday and had a nice time. She said they were talking about another newly widowed friend that they want to get out of the house, so they are going to talk to her and try to all meet once a week for breakfast/brunch. I told her I thought that was a fantastic idea. When I called, she was trying on clothes to see what fit and what she could get rid of. I asked if she was all set to go to WR tomorrow and she said yes, so I don't think she is trying to get out of going now.

Waffle House

I had my Northside Hospital physical today and HR meeting to fill out paperwork where they took my picture for a badge, etc. which took several hours. Anyway, while I was there, Mimi left me a message and said Martha Coleman from church, who is also newly widowed, called her to go out and eat. She said she just wanted us to know where she was and that she thought they were going to Waffle House b/c neither of them were dressed up. I was glad to hear she was going. I'll try to call her back in a little bit.
Again, I am glad she is getting out of the house and I agree, MAKE her go to WR. I am hoping she will also start back to church the following weekend. Otherwise, I think she will spend her days on the sofa and shuttling bills from one room to the next.

Deja Vu

I've been at a Finance/Budget Planning conference all week and was finally able to read the blog. Yes, April 17th was when the Hospice doctor sent Dad to the emergency room because of his oxygen count. Medicare should pay for the ambulance service to the hospital, but Mom needs to pay the for the return trip back home. That was the night that Dad wanted us to go flag down an ambulance to take him back to the house. :)
Agree, a two day trip for mom to visit Warner Robins would do her good.

Deja Vu

I remember when Grandmother didn't want to leave her house and it got harder and harder for Mom to get her to. In fact, one Christmas she didn't even come over. Mom's going to Warner Robins. I'm not going to let her tell us otherwise!
Now I remember why she called me last night. She was questioning a bill she got from some medical service for April 17th. Reynolds - wasn't it the night before her birthday that Dad was taken to the hospital? I told her I thought that bill was for the ambulance service.

Fri Aug 29

I s/w Mimi last night around 5:30 - she said she was laying on the sofa and almost didn't hear the phone. She told me (again) that she had gone to the church to pay the soloist, etc and had driven out to the caterers to pay them. I wanted to ask her why she didn't just mail it but I just let it go. She told me Kathy and Fred were getting her Sunday to go to WR (I had told her that earlier in the week) and she didn't think she was going to go b/c she has too much to do. I told her you NEED to go b/c it would do her some good to get out of that house at least for one night.

Big Lots???

Mom called me last night around 7. Honestly don't remember why. But she was so excited because she went to Big Lots yesterday afternoon. Big Lots? I said I don't go there because I don't need anything else in my house. She said she got cookies and tissues and stuff like that. I said, "Well o.k., as long as you can eat it, blow on it, or dispose of it." I was hoping to go down there with big garbage bags and load them up with clothes for Must Ministries. I must be fooling myself!

Better - Finally!

I had a migraine last Friday, Sat., & Sun. Worked Monday. Got a stomach virus Monday night which I kept until this morning. It feels so good not to be sick!
We have to go to a wedding Sat. night, so we will pick Mom up Sunday morning and go to Robin's and come home on Monday. Then I told Mom I want her back in church the following Sunday. She agreed and said she intends to go back, that she's not going to be like Martha Coleman who quit going after Bob died because she doesn't like to go places they've been together. Mom went in the pouring rain to church yesterday to pay the choir people. Dad's plaque still isn't on the columbarium.
When I talked to Mom today she said she found her water bill and it's due 8/30 so she's going to pay it over the phone. She found the envelope to another bill but not the bill itself.
I got the sweetest note from Lauren yesterday. Lauren, you are so thoughtful and I love you!

Wed Aug 27

Just s/w Mimi and she seems to be doing fine. She said her house is a mess b/c (and this is according to her) she finds a bank statement, puts it down, and then looks for a bill, etc. She said she just found her alarm-company bill and was seeing if she had paid it, but had not, and was about to write the check when her friend Harriet from church called her. We called her yesterday to check on her during the tornado warnings and she said everything was fine, just a lot of rain.

blog

Kathy and I just spoke last Friday and said we should continue the blog to help us all keep up w/ Mimi. I am all for it! I have actually gone on about every other day to see if anyone had posted anything. It all hit me hard starting on Friday - I think the past six months was more stressful than I had let myself accept. I think getting back to work will be the best thing for me, personally. Reality has set in...

On another note, I s/w Mimi Saturday afternoon and she was going to get her hair done. She paid Chantal her final check and her last day was Saturday. She also said Aunt Mary wants her to come over to AL for about a week and she says she is going to do that - we'll see.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYN!

Papa

I, too, couldn't bring myself to blog at first. I tried holding it in and ended up with a 3 day migraine starting this past Friday. Don't know if it was the weather front from Hurricane Fay or grief, I'm just glad my head's not hurting today!
Reynolds - thanks for the reminder. I didn't realize this year was Lyn's Big 50! I feel bad we didn't plan a girls' weekend or party or anything. I sent her some flowers to her school and will call her tonight.
Mom calls me twice a day every day. I think she's adjusting to being alone in that house. We had planned on bringing her to Robin's Labor Day weekend. Then Fred just called me and pointed out to me that this weekend is Labor Day weekend. We have to go to a wedding Sat. night! Steve, Jeff & Barb McCall's son, is getting married. But we might go ahead and come down Sun. morning and come back on Monday. We also need to see how Miss Cali is doing. Tomorrow she gets neutered and her front claws removed.
Robin - I heard you cussed out your insurance agent and then cried. I've been staying out of the Kroger parking lot because that's where all my fits of aggression have occured. I still need to write about those in the blog. :)
Mom received 20 copies of Dad's death certificate. Now I can begin sending them where they need to go.

family

I actually went on our site right after Papa passed away but couldn't bring myself to write anything....I thought I was doing so well but seem to have a "come apart" (as I told my principal) just about everyday...at least once. I looked outside the other evening and a gentle rain had begun....the thought, "Papa's tears," came to my mind...don't ask me why as I know he is happy and "whole" (body) in heaven and the Bible says there is no sadness so I know he's not worried about us. I have no doubt we'll be reunited with him one day but somehow I feel like my foundation is gone (in a physical, not spiritual, sense). Dad would have done whatever he could have done to help any of us out....that's what being a father is all about. Kathy, I've thought a lot about your speech at Dad's funeral and you are so right - he was the right combination of tough and marshmallow! :o) I think he was really a softie but we didn't really get to see that side until the last 15 years or so....
I agree with Lauren - we should continue the blog so we can stay abreast of Mom and issues concerning her...I'm hoping Mom, Kathy and Fred will be able to come down next weekend...it'll be nice to have company here! Anyone else is welcome too! Would love to have you all!

Blogging

I also think it's a good idea. We can provide updates on Mom (MaGee) and share stories. Speaking of sharing stories, Lyn and I had dinner with Dave & Barbara Verner and Bill Harkins last night. Everyone is doing well. The Verner's oldest daughter, Kelli, is getting married in two weeks. Kelli is a nurse in Charleston, SC. Their son, Jim, is getting ready to enter the Coast Guard. Dr. Harkins (PhD in Psychology from Vanderbilt) teaches at the Columbia School of Theology and is also an ordained minister. Reminder: Lyn's 50th B'day is on Monday( 25th).

We're still a family.

This is the first time I've checked the blog since Papa passed away. I couldn't help but notice that we all stopped posting once he was gone. Do we just want to pretend that we need to talk about him? Or are we avoiding it because we know there's nothing left to decide about him? I'm not sure why we've all stopped posting, but I wish we would keep going. There's still a lot to talk about and I like that I can take a few short minutes and be on top of what's going on, even if it's late at night.

As everyone knows, we're still a family. We may all be muddling through how best to deal with losing Papa, but we've still got each other. And we still have Gama. And as we also know there's still a lot to be determined as far as she's concerned.

If everyone else wants to quit the blog then I'm on board with that. But I vote that we keep it going. It's still important to communicate whether it be about Gama, a crummy day at work, or a great day spent with family, we still need each other. What are everyone else's thoughts?

Tuesday

Chantal was back yesterday morning. When she said Good Morning Dad gave a little smile. Robin and kids were there yesterday. Caitlin went back to UGA and Robin, Brandon and Dylan came up here last night. Fran went down there yesterday afternoon. Robin and Fran both liked the hospice people. I knew I should have been with Mom when she signed the hospice papers. She's confused about what she signed up for, who are all these people in my house, who is paying for this, etc. Fran tried to straighten it all out yesterday, but it was 5:05.

Memory medicine

Mom definitely needs to be on memory medicine! That's one of the things that's been on my "to do" list for her. She has moments where she doesn't remember she has c.d.'s. She's constantly moving stuff around her house and losing it. She can't ever remember where her checkbook is. Last night when I talked to her she told me another hospice nurse was coming to the house today. This morning when Fran called her to check in, she didn't remember if a nurse was coming or not. I know a lot of it is stress, but still, she needs to be on memory medicine. (Heck, sometimes I need it myself! LOL)

one more thing...sorry! Robin again!

Mom was (as usual) shuffling papers around last night and I asked her what she was looking for...she said, "My American Express card...I put it right there!" (in the crack of the marble table in the living room). She said she needed it to go pay the bill (keep in mind this is around 11:30 p.m.). I said, "Mom...we need to get you on Aricept or something," and she replied, "Isn't that for people with Alzheimer's?" I smiled and told her, "Well...(stall)...it helps with memory." (Maybe I need to be on some myself!)

Monday night - by Robin writing on Kathy's email

After talking with Lauren and Kathy, and later Fran (did not realize Fran had tried to call me on Sunday night...my house has been wild with college kids packing up), I decided to head up to Atlanta. My sweet son said he would go with me and drove for me...you know, I'm the emotional one, and yes, I was emotional. Dylan was going to stay next door with Craig and his crew but stood there watching me pack the car and said, "I want to go hug and kiss Papa," so he came along. Caitlin called as we were loading up the car and I told her to come on Monday since she had spent the day moving into her new apartment in Athens. You know how hardheaded this family is....Caitlin was on the road and went straight to Mimi/Gama and Papa's.
When the boys and I got there, Papa was sleeping so I gently touched his shoulder and kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes when I said, "I love you," and he said it back...his energy level is minimal. He then reached over to give Brandon and then Dylan a hug, but went straight back to sleep. Mom and Kate (Hospice caregiver) were trying to each pour water into Dad's mouth. I took the cup and asked Mom for a straw and was able to drop about 3 tsp. of water slowly into his mouth. It sounds like when he swallows it's going straight to his lungs. I sat with him and found myself listening for every breath...for the most part, I believe he's resting comfortably.
I was so hoping he'd make it to his 82nd birthday...you know how he thought he wouldn't make it past 40-something...(and I know that is being selfish on my part)...this is not the life he wanted to live.
We are on our way back down to their house now so I'll write more when I see how he is today. I love you all!

MVT

Hi Lauren, Reynolds told me that Mom talks to him about the c.d.'s, and at those times she remembers them. I think her forgetfullness is something that comes and goes; it's not yet constant. But I remember Grandmother's days very well, and this is how they started. All details written on a calendar to try to keep up.
Mom said if she has to move, it will be to MVT, but that she's not ready to move just yet. It's good to know the market is slow and they have units available, because that has not always been the case. At MVT she will be around friends of hers, and I think the socializing would actually help her memory and help keep her on track. Maybe after a week or so alone in the house, MVT will look better and better to her.
Also, I still haven't read her long term care policy and I need to do that. Blocking off an hour of quiet time to read an insurance policy just hasn't happened yet, but I need to do that soon. Once she qualifies for assisted living, the insurance will pay for it. And we all know how she hates writing those big checks for caregivers! :)

just when you start to relax...

There really is no such thing as a dull moment. I talked to Fran a little while ago and she updated me on what's going on at the Brown house. If this is "it" (and remember, it's been "it" before) then this is how things are supposed to be. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I've got to work this weekend so I'll have a day off this week. I'm thinking I'll come up and see them, see if there's anything I can do to help.

I just go off the phone with Mt Vernon Towers. There is not currently a waiting list. "The market is a little slow," so they do have units available. One and two bedrooms for both sale and lease. Not the answer I was expecting, but this could definately be a good thing. This is one of those times that I think I need to quit my job and move to Atlanta to take care of them. Do you think they'll let a 25 year old live at MVT with Gama? It really scares me that she doesn't even remember that there's still money in CD's from the sale of the Alabama land. I can't help but wonder if MVT is right for Gama. It looks to me more of an Independent Living Facility. Should we be looking at Assisted Living? What does everybody think?

lunchtime today

Rachel and I went to see Mom and Dad during lunch today. Between the kidney infection and emphysema, he's in a lot of discomfort. Mom said a nurse from hospice is coming this afternoon. I was really depressed this morning, and going to see Mom and Dad made me feel a lot better.

Dad is back in hospice

Mom just now called me. Rodney, the p.t., came this morning. He took one look at Dad, aghast, and asked what happened. Mom told him about the kidney infection. He took Dad's blood pressure and said "He's going to the hospital." Mom said, "I don't think so." Rodney said, "He's going to hospice then." Mom told Rodney that Dad doesn't want to go to hospice. He wants to stay home. She told him that when he first came home Visiting Nurses of Atlanta came to see him and they are hospice. So Rodney called Dad's doctor, talked to him, and that's the plan. Dad is staying home under hospice care. Mom said she hoped she made the right decision. I told her I think she did. I told her that yesterday Robert asked Fran and I about hospice, and Fran said, "No, we're not transporting him anywhere." I told them Dad can have hospice at home. That seemed to make Mom feel better; the fact that we discussed the possibility of hospice yesterday while there and felt that it would be best given at home. I also reminded her that transporting him has never been a good experience, especially for him. She agreed. Personally, I think he would give up and die if we took him out of his home.

Monday, August 11

Reynolds, apology accepted. We are family.

This blog is so all the information is open to all of us and so that we are all "on the same page". I think it has been especially helpful in seeing what Mimi is saying and remembering, and NOT remembering. James Thrash's telephone number is 334-319-0646 if anyone in the family would like to contact him or go hunting w/ him and his family. Mimi called us the previous Tuesday night after James Thrash called her, b/c she knew Robert and the boys had gone hunting w/ the man last year. For the record, all conversations Robert had w/ him in the past were regarding hunting the land, except this past Friday when Kathy asked Robert to call to say that Mimi and Papa are not able to speak w/ him during this difficult time and to please contact a family member other than Mimi. This is strictly my opinion, but I don't know that she needs to sell any more land when she has money from the past sale and she doesn't even remember she has it.

I s/w Mimi this morning and Papa was sleeping. I forgot that Chantal is off today for dental appts and won't be back until tomorrow morning. Mimi said she didn't sleep b/c she kept thinking Papa was calling her. This morning, Papa kept pulling his oxygen tube out and she kept putting it back in. This continued until he fell back asleep and then she put it back in.

Fran & Robert - My Apologies

Fran & Robert,
I sincerely apologize for not deleting the draft copy of the blog that should have never been written. I am not suing anybody, especially you guys. I did not read the blog all the way and jumped to conclusions. I worked close with Dad on the farm in the 80's and 90's and then Dad would no longer talk to me anymore about the farm, which has made me very angry. After I wrote the draft, I started thinking how helpful Robert has been to Dad & Mom and this land is not worth splitting up the family. I had no idea the draft was still on the blog and was not going to publish it. This was supposed to be one of those notes that you write and then throw away. From my heart, I am truly sorry that I even had these thoughts and wrote them.


Reynolds

Papa

When I got there today Dad smiled. He was too weak to talk. But when I said "I love you" he struggled and said 'I love you'. His kidneys are shutting down I think. His skin was very cold to the touch. When Fran & Robert and the boys got there, he smiled and smiled and managed to be a bit more coherent for a few minutes. When I was there and we was awake (sort of) he just wanted me to sit next to him and hold his hand.

Sunday, August 10

Went to see Mimi and Papa today. Kathy was there when we got there. Papa has severely declined since last weekend. Mom said Chantal called today to check on him and in the past few months she has never done that on her weekends off. He has blood in his urine and he is in pain now when he has to pee (which is only appox a Tablespoon at a time). He is sleeping about 99% of the time and not eating (he had a biscuit for breakfast and some sips of water in the afternoon). He is having trouble "focusing" when you are talking to him. He has a rattle in his chest.

While out in the driveway on our way out, I asked Mimi what she is going to want to do. She said she is staying at the house at least for awhile. I reminded her how scared she was staying alone at night. She said if she goes anywhere it will be Mt Vernon Towers but she isn't leaving the house any time soon. She told us how Ms. Roose and Mr. and Mrs. Kelly are at Mt Vernon Towers, and how they should have bought when it was only $15K a unit and it is now $150K a unit. My plan is to go down to Mt Vernon Towers on Friday and see what the wait-list is like and if a deposit is required to get on the wait-list.

We just hung up the phone w/ Mimi. Papa has not eaten since the biscuit this morning. He has woken up only briefly to take a few sips of water.

weekend

(I am repeating some of what Kathy has posted but here goes...)
I s/w Mimi on Friday morning and she said Papa ate two pieces of KFC Thursday night and threw up that morning. I assumed his body couldn't handle the grease from the chicken. Then yesterday she left me a message while I was out and said he had thrown up again Sat. a.m. and had blood in his urine due to a kidney infection and had been put on meds. I'm no doctor, but I would certainly think the vomiting is from the infection, not the chicken like I assumed at first. He is also sleeping a lot, probably also due to the infect. Robert called her 5 minutes ago and she said he hadn't thrown up this a.m. but woke up, ate a biscuit, and went back to sleep.
When I called Mimi Friday morning, she brought up James Thrash's call again from earlier in the week. I asked her "What are you wanting to do?" and really didn't get an answer. I said that Papa had specifically said to us he was saving the rest of the land for his children/grandchildren and that she still had money in the cd's from the other land sold. She said (and I quote!), "What CD's?". I said "The CD's y'all opened when you sold some of the land". She said, "Well, there isn't much in there." I said, "Mom, one of them has over $200K in it!!!" I didn't get much response after that, and I called Kathy immediately. I am having flashbacks of Lola and her finances. I told Kathy, we have got to do something soon. I think w/ Fred being an Accountant he could really help us, and somehow we'll have to get a POA worked out.
Also, we are going down there in about an hour, and I am going to ask her what she wants to do when Papa's time does come. If she is wanting to go where Mrs. Roose is then we need to get her on the waiting list. I was planning on going this week, but I have an interview Tuesday (everyone PLEASE pray for me!), and my "female surgery" on Wednesday. I may be able to go on Friday. We need to start asking her what her plan is, whether his time is 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, etc. b/c she is terrified of being alone in the house at night and w/ what happened w/ our conversation last Friday, I don't know if she is mentally capable of caring for herself.

Dad's been sick

Dad wanted KFC for the 2nd time last week on Thursday night. He ate 2 pieces. Friday morning he threw up. They thought it was the greasy chicken. He only peed a little on Friday and it was full of blood. Chantal called the nurse, who came almost immediately. The nurse said it was a kidney infection and had the dr. call in a bunch of meds. She told Mom to go to Cosco and get the meds. and 2 gallons of cranberry juice, which she did. Yesterday morning Mom got up and Dad and his bed were covered in vomit. It took her and Chantal both to get Dad and the bed cleaned up and give Dad a bath. I asked her how Dad felt and she said "not good". I asked if he was nauseous. She said no (how would she know?) She said she tried to give him cranberry juice and he tried to take a swat at her. I said, "Oh, he's feeling out of sorts." and she said yes. 10:15 a.m. Sunday - just called Mom and asked about Dad. She said they were just debating on whether to wake him up for a bath or let him sleep. I said I would let him sleep and then a bath when he wakes up will probably help him to feel better. She agreed. She's wishy washy about coming up today. I told her to call me when Dad wakes up.

James Thrash and the land

Found out from Fran today that James Thrash called Mom earlier in the week, wanting to buy some more of the Alabama property. Mom was considering it. Fran reminded her that she still had c.d.'s from the last land they sold. Mom didn't remember having the c.d.'s. I asked Robert today to give James a call and ask him not to call Mom anymore. Robert and James had a nice conversation. It was the 110 acres on Pea River that James was interested in for him and his 2 sons to hunt. He told Robert he has already chased someone off that property. Robert told him Dad had a stroke, etc. and asked him not to call the house anymore, but to call one of us instead. (He and Robert have each other's phone numbers.) In return for keeping an eye on the property, Robert told him he and his 2 sons (close in age to Trey & Conner Boy) could hunt the property. Like Robert said, "You know they're going to anyway." In return James told Robert that he and the boys could hunt his property, too. And that he has several tree stands set up. I think it would be nice if one weekend this fall Robert and the boys and James & his boys could all get together over there for a hunting weekend. Ummm, that's 6 males with guns.......I'm staying the hell out of those woods! :)

I will try before the end of the year to get on Mom's bank accounts. But having power of attorney is going to be a whole different story. Hopefully she will agree to it.

Mom

Mom called me last night. Said she hadn't talked to me in a while and wanted to know about my weekend at the lake. I gently reminded her that actually we talked last Monday and the lake was great. Then I told her again how we ate, watched movies, talked and laughed. She asked again if I had talked to Choice. I said No. She was surprised and had to once again complain about them. (Is she obsessed???) I responded that actually with BBB Choice and Eldercare both had the same rating - satisfactory. I asked her if she was going to be able to come up Sunday. (We're having Jodi over for shish kabobs for her birthday at 3 on Sunday. I had previously invited Mom.) Good opportunity for her to get out, and also to see Jodi and the baby. And Jodi really does care about our family and wants to be a part of it. So as of right now she's planning on coming. First phone call in 2 weeks the 2 of us have had without one or both of us getting riled up. Afterwards, I lay on the sofa watching t.v. and felt deeply sad/heartbroken/depressed. Why? I asked myself. Was it because I had a great time the past 2 weekends and Mom sucked me back into reality? Mom can't help that. Then I felt really, really low and selfish. So I took one of the Xanax Lauren had given me and went to bed. First one I've taken since she gave them to me, and I was sure glad I had it last night. Reactive depression - that's what Jodi told me a few months ago I could be having. Must of had a relapse last night, took the Xanax, and slept like a baby. Today is a new day. Now Kathy - go take on the day.

slumber parties

I spoke with Lauren about the possibility of going up with her on Saturday since Papa wanted us to have another "slumber party" (he remembers the night we had Rachel, KK, Lauren and me there). He asked last weekend, "Where are you going?" I told him, "To Fran's - I have a team assignment due and I have to have internet connection." I could tell he was disappointed so I asked him if he wanted us to have another slumber party at his house...he said, "Yes," and smiled slightly. He loves having all of us there.
I'm not sure now that I will come up this weekend because of expenses (gas). I've had so many medical bills lately with myself and the kids and have cut my piano students (and babysitting that child at 5 a.m. during the week) down to 4 instead of 9....for my own sanity! Dylan needs me to be available after school so I don't want to tie myself down to piano students 4 - 5 days a week.
I don't think I mentioned on the blog earlier that Dad seemed so peaceful this past weekend; he was not agitated at all (except for when he sensed the new caregiver's uncertainty about moving him); she was nice but not bery knowledgeable!

Dad & Mom

I went to visit Dad & Mom this evening. Dad was in a good mood and asked me to eat dinner with Mom. He started to get a little anxious since he had not been to the bathroom (#2) for a couple of days, but Chantel assured him that he was not going to die from not going. I asked Dad if he wanted a cup of coffee and the Sunday paper and he started laughing. Dad and Mom were nice to each other tonight. Is Chantel giving both of them something?

This is my response to Robin....

Don't get your feelings hurt. Mom gets huffy when someone tells her something that's different from what is stuck in her head (whether it's fact or fantasy). She got huffy with me when I told her you and Lauren did not say for sure you were coming, and she said that about you while she was being huffy. She hasn't hurt my feelings lately but she's done a real good job of pushing my buttons and pissing me off! Today she called me at work and left a message that she had something she wanted to tell me about Choice. So I called her back and basically she just wanted to tell me again how bad she thought they were, and to watch what I say to them because she's heard they have to have a whole staff of attorneys.

....and yes, Mom had to call me today to tell me one more time how horrible Choice is. I asked how her weekend was and mentioned that I heard the caregiver could not get Dad in and out of bed. She said, "Where did you hear that?" I said, "Both Robin and Fran." So then she admitted it was true. Then she continued to do her usual ranting about Choice. I said, "Well you've got someone now that you picked out so you should be happy." She lauged and said, "Well, I've only had one person and I didn't pick her." "I said, No, I mean you now have an agency that you picked so you should be happy." Then she did her formal thank you like she does when she's ready to hang up, so I said Bye.

BTW, I checked BBB and Choice has a rating of Satisfactory, same as Eldercare.

Robin's visit this weekend

Got this email from Robin today:


We had a good weekend….I brought the 3 videos up that I ordered from Discovery Channel….Nonie (sp?) and I worked for an hour trying to get the DVD player to work…no luck…so I went to Target and bought another one…came back, hooked it up, and it worked beautifully. Mom kept saying the cable guy hooked the other one up so I asked if anyone had seen it working….no one could tell me…so apparently the one we gave him at Father’s Day had never really been seen working so I hope you still have the receipt for it. Dad really enjoyed the DVD on Spain and said, "We stood right there." Dad also told me that he wants to "go down there." I said, "Where? To Macon with Lauren," and he said, "Yes." I lied and told him, "Mom and Lauren are checking on that."
Nonie was very intimidated (standoffish and watching me) and didn’t appear to know what to do with most everything. She didn’t even know WHERE to start with getting Dad in and out of the bed…basically I lifted him alone – I was impressed with his ability to scoot his butt back onto the bed (once I had him on the edge). I sat on the loveseat while he did a breathing treatment and she didn’t notice that the meds were all gone (the cup was empty)…good way to burn out a motor!
I asked Mom what I stuck my nose into…apparently she just thought Lauren was coming and I told her that Lauren was unsure about coming up until the last minute (she’s going next weekend). I asked Mom if she’d prefer I didn’t come…if she just wanted Lauren to come….and she said, "I want you to do what you want to do with the price of gas, etc." I need to realize that she has dementia and not get my feelings hurt.

1st weekend of August

Eldercare started Saturday and sent a nice lady who's abilities seemed, to me, just the same as the people Choice sent. Time will tell, I guess. Robert went down Saturday and cut their grass, and Robin and Dylan also went on Saturday. Robin told me that Papa slept most of the time. Then yesterday (Sunday) Robin, Dylan, Trey, Conner and I went and spent the afternoon. It took the CNA from Eldercare, Robin and I all to move Papa from bed to wheelchair and vice versa. I'm not so sure this CNA could move him by herself. I'm wondering if Mimi is going to regret getting rid of Choice since they made accommodations for her by sending ONLY Joseph or Jeremy on the weekends who were both capable of lifting him. Abby and Max walked down to visit. Papa sat outside for about 20 minutes watching all the boys play, and then I noticed he kept falling asleep and told Robin and I he wanted to go back in. He watched TV for a little bit, ate half a sandwich and then slept the rest of the time. He didn't seem agitated at all this weekend. If he is sleeping most of the time now, I am not so sure a nursing home will be needed.
And, again, there's the question of who will look after Mimi.

When his time does come, we need to figure out what we are going to do about Mimi's living situation. Sara had told me about 2 months ago that Mimi tells her she is NOT leaving her house....ever. But Lauren brought up a good point a couple of posts back - Mimi is terrified of sleeping in the house alone. I had forgotten what an ordeal it was for her while he was at St Joe's and Hospice and how she barricades the doors. Maybe we should each individually ask her what she is going to want to do and see if she tells us all the same thing! If she wants to go where Mrs. Roose is then we need to get her on the waiting list.

Mom

Agree, Mom's seems to be very stressed out and not remembering things very well. Dad keeps complaining that she is mean to him, but he is very hateful to her too. Just about everytime I go to the house, she tells me that she can't wait to move out of there. Madeline Roose's visit a few weeks ago got her 'fired up' to move into Hammond Towers. Probably a different story from her this week.

i'm back!

Sorry that I've been on a hiatus. The site wouldn't let me sign in. This morning I realized that I'd been putting in my user name instead of my e-mail address. Ugh. I've heard that Gama has been making a fuss that I was coming up this weekend. I told her I might be coming up, but since Caitlin and I have been painting my house (one of my many projects I've been putting off since we moved in almost a year and a half ago) I've got stuff moved out of my bedroom and bathroom and ma going to get things put back together this weekend. I never told her I was coming up. Actually, I don't remember mentioning to her at all that I had planned to come up this weekend, but I never tell her for sure that I'm coming up until the Wed or Thurs before I plan to be there. I figure she'd forget if I told her before then anyway. Maybe it's the stressful situation, but she seems to be forgetting more and more everytime I talk to her.

One thing we need to consider for sure before moving Papa into a home, is what to do with Gama? I think we all know that she doesn't need to be in that house alone. Not to mention that it scares her to death to be there by herself. There are all kinds of apartment communities that cater to the elderly. Some of them allow them the freedom to come and go as they please, but there's always someone on the grounds just in case. It needs to be presented to her as a package deal. If Papa goes into a home, then she needs to go into an apartment. As somebody said, up to this point we've been lucky-Chantel has been there for Papa, but it's been good for Gama too to have somebody around.

Hope everyone has a good weekend! Keep me posted!
-lauren

Friday, August 1

s/w Mimi earlier and asked about the 10am appt this morning - she said the new weekend agency rep (Eldercare?) had been there and they will have someone there at 7am tomorrow (Saturday) morning and they are more expensive. I told her that I s/w Robin last night and Robin had told her that she and Lauren WOULD MAYBE be there this weekend, not definitely, so that she needed to make sure someone is going to be there in the morning to relieve Chantal. I asked about Choice, and Mimi said she hadn't paid them so was assuming they wouldn't be there. I hung up w/ Mimi and s/w Kathy and Kathy said unless she CALLS Choice, that they will be there. Hung up w/ Kathy and called Mimi back and said unless you call Choice, you are going to have two people there tomorrow morning (assuming Eldercare WILL acutually be there - since Chantal recommended them I feel they WILL show up - Lord help us). Mimi told me she would call them as soon as she and I hung up. Then Kathy called me later and said Deborah at Choice had called her & said Mimi had called, and wanted to make sure she didn't want anyone there tomorrow. I thought it was funny b/c Mimi said "Did your big sister put you up to this?" and I said no and heard Chantal say in the background (and I quote) "You have good children...all of them". I told Mimi "You tell Chantal you sure do!" hee hee hee

Mom and Dad

It's not Dad that's driving me crazy, it's Mom. Can we put her in a nursing home, too? I never get to talk to Dad on the phone. I ask Mom how he's doing, and she says "the same". Today she didn't sound so depressed because Reynolds came for dinner last night.

Eldercare is sending someone to interview them tomorrow, and she told me she feels sure they will take them. Well, of course they will. The purpose of the interview is not to decide whether or not they will take them or not, but to assess their needs so they can match the right caregiver with the person. She was going to call Choice today and fire them. I said, "OK, you do whatever you want. But Robin did not tell you she and Lauren will be up this weekend. Robin said she would talk to Lauren about coming up. And Robin, as of last night, had not talked to Lauren." Mom said, "Well, Lauren said she was coming up before Robin even stuck her nose into this mess." I said, "OK Mom, you do whatever you want, I'm going to the lake tomorrow." She told me to have fun and be careful. So if they have no caregiver this weekend, there's not a damn thing I can do about it. If I was Dad, I'd probably want to take a swing at her, too. After talking to her this week, I want to take a swing at her.

There is not a waiting list for the good nursing homes. You literally have to call them every single day. But once we get Dad into one, what are we going to do with Mom? Right now, I would love to look her in the face and say, "I don't know how much longer I can take this." O.K., she's pushed my buttons 3 days in a row this week and I need to calm down.

Someone please talk to Chantal if you can. See what she thinks. If she thinks the nursing home, then o.k. Someone needs to call the good homes every day. And Mom will have to agree to it. On their health power of attorney, Mom is first in line to make a decision. So I would love to know what Chantal's thoughts are about Dad but also about Mom. She's there with them every day so she knows what's going on. And Reynolds said Chantal doesn't talk much to Mom anymore; that makes me wonder why? If any of us are there when we can talk to Chantal privately for a minute, I would love to know what's really going on.

And I always wonder, what will happen to Mom? This string of thoughts runs through my mind like the weekend Caitlin was there and said all there was to eat was cheese, Jeremy asking Mom at 2:30 in the afternoon if they were going to eat lunch, yesterday Mom needed to run to Costco because Chantal had made a long list of stuff for her to get. (Chantal made the list, not Mom.)

And as for the invoice from Choice, I had Deborah fax me a copy. It was mailed to Mom on July 11th and was due on the 23rd. I find it interesting that Mom was searching for it, since she always swears up and down to me that she never got one.

How did I begin this blog? Oh yeah, it's not Dad that's driving me crazy, it's Mom!

Dad - Nursing Home

I will second the motion to have Dad put on a list. Wesley Woods, AG Rhodes, W. Breman Jewish Home, etc. are all good facilities for Dad, but it will probably take several weeks or even months to get him in one.

Thursday, July 31

I s/w mom this morning and she told me "I have really pissed off your big sister" (meaning Kathy) - I acted like I didn't know anything and asked "why?". She said she has not gotten any bill from Choice (not sure I believe that seeing all the paper clutter in the house) and that she has another agency, recommended by Chantal, coming tomorrow morning at 10am to interview them. She also said Robin and Lauren will be there tomorrow. I told her I know Robin went back to work last Monday so it probably wouldn't be until tomorrow night that they would get there. I haven't talked to Robin so I don't know if that is accurate or not. She also told me about dad swinging at her and said "but I am faster than he is". If this is true, then this is just awful. Robert talked to her later today and she told him the same thing and that she doesn't know how much longer she can take this.

Kathy, enjoy your weekend at the lake and forget about this nightmare for at least a little while (plus Robin and Lauren will be there according to mom - I think I'll call Robin to verify). Me, Robert, Trey and Conner will also be down either Saturday or Sunday.

As far as the nursing home - I HATE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT - but maybe we should get him on some lists since we found out this past March how difficult it is and how LONG the waiting lists are. Just in case. Any thoughts on this?

Mom & Dad

Mom was looking for the Choice invoices last night and swears that they did not send her one. Dad was furious at her (again) last night and reached over to grab her with his left hand. Mom told me that she will not walk around on the left side of Dad and uses the table as a buffer, so that he cannot grab her. Chantal does not talk to mom very much anymore and stayed in the bedroom most of last night. I can tell that Chantal is getting tired of Dad's ranting and yelling. We're coming to a crisis point real soon. Let's regroup next week and start looking at a Nursing home. The 'Health Advocate' service is still available for us to use and it will take several weeks or longer to get Dad in a decent facility, anyway.

Mom

So yesterday Mom calls me and wants me to fire Choice immediately. I said, "O.K., but tomorrow is the last day of the month. What are you going to do this weekend?" She said, "Robin and Lauren will be here." Only that's not exactly what Robin had said to Mom. So Choice will continue through August, and Mom and Chantal are going to check out another agency.
I won't be down there again this weekend. Cathy Holcombe and I are going with Sue, Rick's sister, Linda, Gina, and Tootsie to Sue's lake house over in Alabama.

Mom

I made the mistake of asking, "How was your weekend?" Even though she said she didn't hear from anybody, she did know about Fran's procedure and that Robert and the boys had gone to Wilmington.
Deborah from Choice called me yesterday. Mom didn't pay their bill AGAIN! It's due by the 23rd each month. Mom always claims she didn't get the bill. But Deborah faxed it to me and it has her address on their plain as day. Mom says, "I would know if I got a bill and I didn't." I said, "Well, I know how you pay them late sometimes. You're always remarking that they're about to cut your utilities off if you don't pay." She told me that was a joke. I wasn't laughing!

Mom

I don't know why she said she didn't talk to anyone this weekend, because I talked to her on Saturday around 11am!!!!!!!!!! I was doing laundry and waiting for Robert and the boys to get home from Wilmington and I told her about my female "procedure" I am having done on August 13th. I guess she doesn't remember talking to me. Ughhhhhhhhhhh.

Just talked to Mom

I just talked to Mom and now I'm feeling guilty. I usually try to make it down there every weekend. I didn't this weekend because my college friend Linda came up to visit. I just called her and asked her how her weekend was and she said it was the most miserable weekend ever. I asked Why? She said because she didn't see or hear from anybody. Oops! She always was good at that guilt factor.

Trip to AL

I would definitely love to go back to AL and have as many of us as possible go. I think Mary also really enjoyed the company. I know Harriett is right there by her but stays busy working 3 days/week and with her "man," Bill. I knew it was good for Mom...I could hear it in her voice even a week later...she didn't seem as depressed.
I kept hoping I'd make it to Atlanta this week, but things are really tight financially right now getting KK and Brandon ready to go off to school (and having had them home all summer). Caitlin and I finished painting my kitchen today...it looks so good!
Eddie and I are leaving for Charleston, SC tomorrow morning at 10:00 (just for the weekend), and then I start back teaching on Monday; I ran into an old RAFB friend this week and she said another one of our mutual friends had left the base Child Development Center and they are interviewing. I went online to USAJobs.com and filled out a resume so we'll see what happens...the pay would be more than double what I make now so we'll see what happens. It would be NICE to actually be paid for my experience and Master's degree! In January, I'll begin being paid for my Specialist degree (6-year level). That will help things considerably!
I've been to the doctor twice this week for an echocardiogram and sonogram (today) of my coratid arteries; the sonogram tech is now married to Eddie's ex-wife (I realized when I heard his name, but I don't think he made a connection and I sure as heck wasn't gonna tell him who I was). This town is tooooooooo small! :oP Apparently the chest and back pains (and nausea) I've had are actually reflux! Thank God!
Love to all,
Robin

Thursday July 24

S/W Mimi today - she said she and Sara had gone up to Wendy's yesterday for lunch. I am so glad when she gets out of the house for a least a little while. Then she said they had a nice visit w/ Reynolds last night for supper, and told me (again) about the pot pies she loves (I had a flashback of Lola w/ the "turkey rolls"!). She said Papa was being nasty to Chantal today and that Chantal said to him that she isn't married to him and she doesn't have to put up w/ that (I think she tells me that every time I talk to her...ugh). At the time I called she said Papa was sitting outside getting some fresh air. I reminded her I am going to the gyno for a sonogram in the morning and told her I'll call back later tomorrow to let her know how it went.
Not much to report, but wanted to post!

Wednesday

I had a nice visit with Dad & Mom tonight. Dad was in a good mood and was being nice to Mom and Chantal. He even saw Chantal sneaking some milk & cookies to the computer and started laughing and asking her, politely, for some cookies. His speech was much better. Mom was really enjoying looking at her pictures of the house in Oneonta and sharing some memories from her childhood. It was a nice ride back to my house tonight.

Yard Man

I do happen to know one in your area that's currently unemployed. His name is Brandon. lol I would say, "Hey Bro, get over here and help your big sis out while you got the time." :)

It is pretty funny that he tried to get by with just giving you one hearing aid back. I'm sure that at some point, you tried to do the same thing to him when you were a kid. Hmm...It's funny how the roles reverse sometimes. Makes you wonder when exactly that happened.

I think that if you smiled just right, you could talk Fred into anything. He's such a good sport. I guess you'd have to be to roll with the punches with our crew.

As far as the yard man...I don't have one. Let me know if you know any good ones. lol...We're doing good to have the grass cut so it's not like a safari trying to get to our cars in the morning.

Hope everyone has had a good day!
-lauren

Lauren, You brought up some very good points. I think I'll call the Hamm's and ask them to invite Mimi to go to church with them this Sunday. And I'm definitely up for a road trip to AL in the fall. That trip did her a world of good! Last Sunday I noticed Papa winking, just like you said. I don't remember what I said when he winked. Maybe it was over the hearing aids. Fred is still laughing about me asking him if he's going to grow 2 more ears and how he gave me back only one and I had to cajole him for the other.
Fred and I are currently catsitting for Rach while she's in Charlotte with her Dad. Granny and Grandpa are even older than Mimi and Papa, so I'm always so glad when she has one more chance to see them. And I have fallen in love with Cali (the cat). Think Fred will agree to just one more pet? lol :)
Lauren, I know you're busy. Just knowing that you come when you can means a lot. And about those weeds Sweet Thing - where's your yard man???
Love you!
Kathy

AL weekend

I've been meaning to look at this blog for months...I finally did it. It took me an hour to read it all so that I was caught up. There's a few little things that I want to say before I get into the weekend we stayed with Papa while Mom and Gerry went to Alabama.

I think Papa may have had a TIA ("mini-stroke"). His speech is worse, he is definately more agitated than he was just a short while ago, I've seen some of the staring y'all have described. But I try to remember that he is 80 years old and his brain has not gotten the work-out it's used to. He used to check his e-mail, read, lots of things other than watch TV. Although he DID watch a fair amount of TV. But his brain isn't getting the stimulation it's used to. It's also not getting the oxygen it should and you'd be amazed at the things that happen when a brain is deprived of oxygen. He's probably depressed too. He's probably sick to death of his "situation" and the only person he can really take it out on is Gama. You know that old saying "You always hurt the one's you love the most"? Same thing. He fools with his hearing aids because it's something to do. I have racked my brain to think of things for him to do. I've tried to get him to play Scrabble or a card game with me but he wasn't interested. He can't see well enough to read or work a crossword puzzle. Even WITH the mega-glasses I got him. So alot of times I just sit with him. We won't necessarily talk, although sometimes he does get chatty. But I'll sit on the love seat and every now and then he'll just look over at me and smile. That's how I know that even if he's not always the big teddy bear he was when I was growing up, at that moment...when he winks at me with both eyes (you know, the big blink he does) or smiles at me or calls my name and doesn't say anything or my personal favorite, calls me Princess...I know he's still Papa and my heart just smiles. Or breaks into a thousand pieces. Or both.

And Gama. What's there to say? We all know her memory is not what it used to be. And that she wanders around the house or lays on the couch and reads the paper all day. But I have to remind myself that she's 80 years old too. That's why I really wanted her to get out of town for the weekend. And I think she needs to do that once a month or every other month or whatever. Like when we went to eat at Rio Bravo (isn't that where we went) while Papa was still in the hospice. I think she liked being with everybody and kind of forgetting all the other that's going on. Even though you never really "forget" it. She won't stay gone for long...no matter how they might fuss, she won't leave Papa for very long. But she needs a break too. As far as her dementia, I've heard of Aricept although I can't remember if it's a med for dementia or full blown alzheimers. Maybe I need Aricept! I think it would be a good idea if someone took over or at least helped her with the finances. She may be resistive to it, but let's assure her we're not trying to take over, but just help her because she's got a lot on her plate. Maybe she'd be more receptive to it when put that way to her.

My plan is, now that things seem to kind of routine and gas is $4 a gallon, to come up for the weekend or a long weekend every month. I wish I could be there more, but don't we all. My house is a wreck...I have weeds as tall as my house. I have to work one weekend a month, which means I don't really have a weekend. And like everybody else, I'm tired. I'd feel compelled to come more often if it weren't for Chantal being there. Good grief, where would we be without her? And now that we've handpicked our weekend crew, who could ask for more?

I meant for this to be a post about staying with Papa while Mom and Gama went on their roadtrip, but it's getting late and this post took on a life of its own. Well, I promise to write about it this week. I've waited over a week to do it at this point, what's a few more days?

Hope everyone is doing well. Miss and love you all!
-lauren

MARTA

I filled out the MARTA paperwork and mailed it to MARTA today. Once they receive it, they will mail another set of paperwork to Dr. Wilkes. Once they receive the paperwork from Dr. Wilkes, they have 21 days to approve or disapprove. So I think Mom needs to go ahead and ask Dr. Wilkes to refill his pulmonary meds. Yesterday I could hear congestion in his chest.
Frannie - So glad you're seeing the dr. on Friday. Let us know what happens.
Love you,
Kathy

Monday, July 21

Just s/w Mimi - she said Chantal is back and, as always, she is glad to see her. She said Jeremy was good though this weekend. She said after Kathy "handled" Choice (you go girl), she will now only have Jeremy or Joseph on the weekends and Chantal during the week which she is glad about. She canceled Papa's appointment w/ Dr. Sheinberg (spelling?) for tomorrow b/c after Chantal got there today, Chatal was saying they can't physically do it. Now I REALLY feel awful that I kept forgetting about the MARTA paperwork! Mimi said once the MARTA is approved then she will reschedule w/ Sheinberg and felt pretty sure they will work him in. I asked if the visiting doctor - Dr. Wilkes - could prescribe the pulmonary meds he needs instead of trying to get him to Sheinburg and Mimi said "I don't know".
Just an FYI - I have an appointment this Friday morning at 9am for a vaginal ultrasound and then the doctor will see me right after.
Got to run take the boys for their physicals and Trey has to get three shots so he can start Middle School....this should be fun!!!!!!
Love y'all.

Sunday

Fred and I went to see Mom and Dad yesterday. Noticed a decline in Dad, just like you described Fran. Not as conversive, more staring, not so with it. First thing Dad did was ask me about his hearing aids. I told him I got them fixed and brought them back to him. I had to get them out and let him hold them before he was satisfied. I finally asked, "You've already got 2 in your ears. Are you going to grow 2 more ears?" He said, "No" I said, "So give me those back so I can put them up." He gave me one. I said, "I gave you 2. Now you give me 2." He smiled as he gave me the 2nd one. At that moment he knew exactly what he was doing! :) He didn't get agitated with Mom while we were there. Jeremy is very nice; I really like him. He takes good care of Dad. Mom told me Lyn and the boys came by Sat. and brought her all kinds of stuff from the Farmer's Market.
Mom told me she and Chantal are taking Dad to see Dr. Scheinberg on Tuesday. She said, "It's right around the corner." I asked if they had practiced getting Dad in and out of the car and they have not. So I got the MARTA paperwork and brought it home with me.

book and camera - Kathy

Kathy,
When I left Atlanta last weekend, both the camera AND your book were on the buffet. Fran, thanks for bringing the boys down for Dylan's birthday...he had a great time and we loved having y'all visit. Tomorrow, Dylan goes to Charlie's for the week....it's always lonely for me...the house is too quiet...but it will give me an opportunity to finish painting my kitchen and get ready for Charleston next weekend (Eddie and I are going). I start back to school (job) on July 28th...where has the summer gone???
Fran, I hope your boys don't hate me after this weekend...I know I sounded "mean" to them but I wanted them to help you out in any way they could...Family, Fran is having a difficult time - my guess is that she might have an ovarian cyst that's rupturing (or trying to); she is in extreme pain and passed out this morning. I'm going to nag her about seeing/calling her doc to see what can be done (and what the problem is). Kathy, I hope you are feeling better - I can't believe you had another stomach virus....I think you need to see a gastro doctor. Reynold, any complaints? :o)
I talked to Mom tonight while I sat by the pool watching Dylan swim. Mom sounded better than I've heard her sound since Dad's stroke. We talked about the AL trip and agreed we needed to go back this fall; she kept talking about how much she enjoyed it. She asked me whether or not I took a picture of the "pink" house she grew up in (newborn to age 7ish?)....I did not because the current owners acted so funny about us gawking at the house BUT the biggest reason was because there was so much JUNK in front of the house. The owner (his mother was Dixie - related to Mom somehow) said the house/fireplace had caught on fire at one point and he knocked the fireplace OFF the house to put the fire out. He also knocked the front porch off of the house because it was in such disrepair....see a trend here? :oP

Sunday, continued

Oh yeah, Kathy, your camera was there as of Thursday and I pulled up the pictures and showed them to both Papa and Mimi. It was on the kitchen table. Not sure about a book.....

Sunday, July 20

Trey, Conner and I just got home from Warner Robins for Dylan's b-day party at Eagle Springs pool. We went down Thursday and stopped by to visit Mimi and Papa on our way down. It was very, very difficult to understand Papa's speech, and he stared a lot and didn't seem as "with it" as he had been...I am really thinking he has had another stroke - maybe a "mini" one. He also really struggled more w/ eating his ice cream - it was pitiful - it breaks my heart (big breath so I don't cry). As we were leaving he started getting REALLY agitated w/ mom. So much so that I started telling the boys "get in the car". I do feel bad for her w/ he gets like that which I have a feeling is more and more. When he wasn't in the same room, Mimi told me he had gotten ugly w/ Chantal that morning and that if Chantal leaves, then she is leaving (not that I believe that). After that, on my drive to WR, I started thinking about the way he was in Hospice compared to now. I don't know what the "answer" is as far as nursing homes, MARTA, etc. Robin gave me some t-shirts for Papa and I will be taking them down to him this week. I can pick up the MARTA paperwork but the idea of getting him away from home does make me nervous.

This weekend

Anyone going to see Mom and Dad this weekend? Just wondering because I don't know if I'll be able to. The migraine that started Wed. turned into a stomach virus yesterday afternoon. I'm home sick today. UGH! If you go, please make sure my book and camera are still on the buffet and that Mom hasn't moved/lost them.
Did anyone get the MARTA papers?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZACH!

Happy Birthday Zach! Sorry for being a day late. The migraine affected my memory. :)

Dad & Mom

Yes, I agree that dad's disposition has not been good since around the first of July. He started playing mental games with mom again (i.e., put the cookie 'here' pointing to a spot on the table. "No I said here" where is finger is pointing and then proceeds to have an anger fit.) Mom can't take much more of his tantrums. This is why I am suggesting that we place Dad in AG Rhodes or Wesley Woods.

I am still learning how to use my new camera that Lyn gave me for our 25th Wedding Anniversary and will send you a copy of the pictures after I read the chapter on 'downloading'.
I have to share this bit of humor with all of you. We had dinner at Panos & Paul's for our anniverary and another couple sitting close to us was celebrating their 65th anniversay. The waiter asked the old man what his secret was for making it 65 years and he replied "don't remember the first 30 years". :-)

Migraine

Today. For me. Don't y'all just love the allergies and smog in Atlanta??? I told Fred I want to retire to St. George Island.

So sad about Betty Ivey! Remember that shipping net in their back yard for us kids to climb on? I loved that net! And just being a kid on that net, with other kids. Dad has been mad at Mom since the first of the month. Mom asked last Monday if I knew that Dad was mad at her. I said Yes. She asked, "Do you know why?" I said, "Well, a week ago he told Fran you were mean. Last Friday, all you had to do was say "hearing aid" and that set him off. I told Mom that I think Dad's had another stroke(s) and this is just another symptom. She agreed. I think he started to really decline on July 1st. Or maybe when we got back from the beach. With those 2 blocked carotid arteries, he's a ticking time bomb. I reminded her of that and she agreed. She can't take much more; but neither can he.

Hey Reynolds, do you have pictures of your Colorado trip? I would love to see them!

Monday Night

Mom really enjoyed her trip to see Aunt Mary and the detour via Oneonta to see the house. Robin, Thanks for taking mom! She needed a break from Lorell Terrace. Chantal's husband (Orlando) came to eat with her Monday night...very nice guy. Dad was very hateful to mom Monday night kept telling me about how mean she is to him. When I asked dad what mom was doing to him, he would not talk to me and just stared at the TV.
Also, Lee Ivey called Monday night to say that Betty had passed away.

Reynolds

Saturday Night's Sleepover

Robin, Lauren, Caitlin and Rach - Y'all have no idea how much that thrilled Mimi and Papa. I think they're hearts are still singing! I would say you made their day, but I think you made their year!!!

Talked to Mom yesterday. Lauren - Mom said the Dr. and the visiting nurse both said "NO" about Papa going anywhere for rehab. He doesn't have the strength and is not a candidate. I also talke to CHOICE. Jeremy will be there the rest of the month on weekends. He's o.k. I was a little bitchy - but I told them that we would renew with them for August only if they sent Jeremy or James, Jonathan, Johnson (that's not his name. What is his name???) on weekends. I took the hospital bed table down there on Friday. Guess who put it together? Chantal!!! Who else? She is truly Wonderwoman! Dad had visitors from church yesterday. Glad that he's still getting visitors!

Trip to Bama

I took Mom to Hayden, AL to see Aunt Mary this weekend. She wasn't sure of the route via Birmingham so we went thru Oneonta first. I couldn't believe my eyes when we drove up and saw Mom's old homestead....it had a beautifully manicured lawn, flower-boxes and white ceiling fans on the front porch, and the screened porch had been enclosed (now a sunroom). I got out of the car to take a picture and a young woman (early 30s) came out of the house. We explained to her that Mom had grown up in that house and Mom began giving her a history lesson of the house. Kelli (Wadsworth), the new owner of about 18 months, said that she was restoring the house and it would be listed with the historical society. You could tell that she LOVED the house! The back of the house was really overgrown with weeds/vines and she said they were tackling that next! They had found a lot of the old stone walls and concrete pads where buildings were but had no idea there was actually an old tennis court on the property. I took a bunch of pictures so look for Kathy to post them on shutterfly (I used her camera - my kids had confiscated mine). We left Oneonta with happy hearts, knowing that 222 State Road was in loving hands.

When I heard and saw Aunt Mary, I couldn't believe the resemblence between she and Lola. They could have been twins! Mary is still sharp as a tack mentally - I guess all those years of working on a farm kept her mind sharp! Harriett came down to visit on Sat. morning before her morning walk; she is retired after teaching for 30 years, but works 3 days a week in Birmingham with a math program. We had a wonderful visit - there's just something about being in the country that makes you feel and sleep better! Oh! We also drove around and saw where Mom spent the first years of her life - the "pink" house (the house with the fireplace she fell into), where Lola and Francis' store was (houses & trailers there now), and where all the relatives lived. Aunt Mary wants everyone to come over to visit - I could tell that she was a little lonely!